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rey20408 · Dec 21, 2010, 02:19 PM

Well me and her have been together almost 2yrs and we got into a big fight so I moved out but I know I was making a mistake but I needed my space then she started to call me and tell me she missed me and needed me so I was taking baby steps on going back to her then one night we were making love when a guy called her @ 1:30 a.m asking if she was OK cause she has been drinking and I lost my temper and I told her to get away from me and we got into another fight and I told her that was it but she said she wasn't doing anything with that guy that he was a friend so we still talk and my kids are attached to her and now that I pushed her away now she says she likes her freedom but she calls me @ night saying she can't sleep and she hangs out with me and we play around when we do hang out but she with to many guys and she parties with her brothers friends and there all after her I don't know what to do I miss her so much I'm empty without her

Alty · Dec 21, 2010, 02:37 PM

Ouch. Punctuation is your friend. Your post is really hard to read.

It sounds like she's made you into a friend. I know it hurts, but you'll have to learn to accept that she's moved on, that she's decided that you're not what she wants, other than to be her friend.

If it hurts too much having contact with her, let her know that you can't be in the friend zone, and go to no contact so that you can give yourself a chance to get over her. As long as she's calling you, hanging out with you, she's giving you false hope. You need to be allowed to move on, and only no contact will do that.

Good luck. :)

Devorameira · Dec 21, 2010, 03:59 PM

Lets see, YOU broke it off and moved out and then you managed to lose your temper when she got a call from a male friend?

He may have been just a friend, but even if he wasn't, you broke up with her and she had a right to see other men during the break-up (I'm sure the guy that called didn't know you were making love).

Sounds like maybe she's finally had enough. Seems like the best thing you can do is go no contact and move on.

talaniman · Dec 21, 2010, 10:06 PM

Sorry guy, you handled things like a big immature kid with your hissy fit, and bad behavior. Can you blame her for not wanting you back right away? Didn't you apologize, and promise to act like a grown up? What was she supposed to do, put up with your insecure crap, or sit and feel lonely until you decided to forgive her for getting a call from a friend? Don't you think she should be doing her thing after the way you treated her? I do. She deserves some fun now, and I hope you learned to behave better.

Jake2008 · Dec 22, 2010, 07:58 AM

What was the reason for the big fight that caused you to leave in the first place. And if it is your house, why is she there?

I'd say she is sending you mixed messages. If she is partying like you said, with her brother's friends, and living the single life, except when she gets lonely for you, she doesn't sound like she's hurtng too much over you being gone from the house.

She does not sound devastated, nor does she sound like she using the time apart to try to work out problems with you, nor does it sound like she's putting you first, at least in the same way that you are putting her first.

Considering that there is likely a history between you that involved many fights and disagreements, and assuming that you leaving was a good idea, just what are you expecting to happen. Is she willing to go to counselling, to put her relationship with you (and your children) first, and to at least try to save the relatioship? Or is it pretty clear that you are a booty call and you are being used, and nothing is being seriously resolved one way or the other.

I would stop with the hanging out, and the sex. Figure out if she is willing to make changes, and figure out if the two of you are ever going to make the relationship work. One thing is for sure, the way things are going now, you're just spinning your wheels.