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    BBakes81's Avatar
    BBakes81 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 17, 2010, 08:51 PM
    My dad doesn't seem to care about me..
    Every time I try to talk to him, I hesitate on what I am going to say to him because he always seems to be angry at me. I play all kinds of sports, like wrestling, football, baseball, and I also workout. I have a 94.3 average and I think I'm doing great, and whenever people ask my dad how his kids are he ALWAYS talks about my older brother, since he's plays college football. And he never says anything about me. He seems to try and make me as independent as possible, and he never wants to do anything with me. I trust my mom much more than I trust him, and whenever he comes home, I'm upset that he's back. He gets mad at me when I ask him for a ride home from a friends house when its -30 outside.
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
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    #2

    Dec 17, 2010, 09:08 PM

    Have you talked to him about how you have been feeling? You could tell him that you would like to spend more time with him. Is he able to attend some of your games/matches?

    If you don't feel you can talk to him, maybe consider, if you haven't already, having a talk with your mom about it. Are your parents together?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Dec 18, 2010, 11:25 AM

    I can bet its frustrating wanting a kind word, and being acknowledged from a parent you obviously love, and want positive attention from. It sucks to not get it. I would be angry, and frustrated too.

    I think you should talk to your older brother to see what he had to go through, and consider maybe your dad just wants you to be independent, and self sufficient as a man, and thinks this is the way to do it. The real world can be tough and cruel.

    Many of us have been through the same things with our dads, and only find out later why they were the way they were when we were younger. They didn't always give, or show love the way we wanted or needed. Especially when you are in the shadow of an older sibling who seems to have gotten, and still getting all the attention, and you just want some for yourself.

    But things may not be what they seem, so talk to your other family members, and see if the can shed some light onto your dads personality from their point of view. You may learn a lot that leads to understanding him better to give you peace of mind.

    Just so you know, my dad never gave me rides in bad weather either. He later explained I should figure it out, and do things for myself. At the time, I was to mad to understand what the freak he was talking about. But 40 tears later. That lesson has stuck with me, and helped a lot over the years, but he sure pizzed me off at the time.

    Have that talk with you mom and brother, I think it will help with what you are going through.
    belgia's Avatar
    belgia Posts: 40, Reputation: 8
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    #4

    Jan 3, 2011, 02:28 PM
    Comment on talaniman's post
    Excellent! Way ditto on that one. I had a mom like that and I am the daughter. Took me until 51 to realize I was not the "weakest child in the link" or some kind of "victim" and it made me VERY strong as an adult. All forgiven and all good.

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