[silverlining07]

So, here it goes. I've had this best guy friend. We always hang around, playing volleyball or if not, we'd talk about things and stuff like rumors and funny experiences. We're classmates and we're in a block section which means we've been together for 4 years already but in the earlier 3 years, we've never been close although in the first year, I had a little crush on him. So, when we learned that our former english teacher was gay, we decided to observe. Then he began txting our teacher's ex. I also became the ex's friend. So, summer went by, classes started again and these feelings keep growing. Finally, I recently wrote him a letter telling how much I loved him and so forth. I was about to give it at December 17. But we talked this night and guess what? He was in love with our teacher's ex. I really died outright. I tried to fight the tears and pretended I was so happy for them. How could I not fall in love with him? We've been through a lot of things. I was there when he was hospitalized. He kissed me at my forehead which is my insecurity point. He held me in countless night when I'd cry to sleep just because of my suck-up life.

Don't get me wrong. He's downright straight BEFORE. Now? I'm not so sure. :(

A little help please? :(((

[malixminor]

Here's a story for you.

10th grade

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year
The day before prom she walked to my locker. My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A Few Years Later
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said ". She said " and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my " and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my ". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! `I wish I did too... ` I thought to myself, and I cried.

[joypulv]

I agree with malixminor. How do you know that that love is real, or will last? Why do YOU wait to hear what someone has to say about emotions first? And if you are dying inside, what could be worse about telling him?

I have to admit I am confused about the gender of those involved - you, and the teacher's ex. Are you female and the teacher's ex is male (many a gay adult has an ex of the opposite gender)? So you are saying that your best friend has revealed that he is gay? How is this so crushing? You haven't 'lost' him. You can still love each other. I'm also puzzled that you would say now you aren't so sure because he was straight. Many a man has started straight either while working out his orientation or deliberately, to appease family and to avoid problems at school. He's gay! Talk to him about all your confusion and tears; he can handle it, and eventually so will you.