[burtyjim]

Its been about 4 or 5 months since we broke up and still have strong feelings for her she has now got her self a new boyfriend who is a bad boy so I will say its just makes me think good guys really do finish last as I just moved I find it hard to meet any one how is the best way of meeting people I would give any thing for a nice cuddle or a kiss again please help

[Skell]

Sorry for your pain burtyjim. It does hurt and sometimes it feels like it is never going to get better.

But in time it will. Give it time and try as hard as you can to occupy yourself doing other thing as opposed to moping around feeling sorry for yourself and things will slowly improve.

There a lots of example of people on this website who can justify that. Go back and read the many stories! It does get better if you help it get better by doing the right things!

Don't worry about her and what she is doing. If he is a bad boy then eventually she will get hurt and he may just be a rebound, which again probably won't work. But you can't control that so don't think about it.

Can I ask though, how long you guys were together? I think that is relevant to be able to perhaps give you some more advice!

[burtyjim]

We were together for 9 months

[Skell]

Well I know 9 months seems to you like a long time when you have lost someone you love, but in the grand scheme of life it isn't that much at all!

Chances are you will have another couple of these 9 months relationships that just don't make it for whatever reason.

Obviously there was some things in the relationship that didn't work and probably never would have.

I know it doesn't mean much but you should be thankful you didn't invest years into this relationship only to have it end. I know one shouldn't compare lives but there are many here who have had 7 or 10 year relationships end in cheating etc. Many others here have lost 20 year marriages.

So I think it is time for you to put this one down to experience, dust yourself off and go again.

Moping and crying won't bring her back, and to tell you the truth you don't want her back. It wouldn't work next time.

There are millions of women out there to be had, but I can tell you not many of them want a miserable sod who doesn't know how to have fun because he can't get over an ex. An ex that wasn't suited to him in the first place.

You know what they want? A fun guy who makes them smile and laugh and who they can't wait to be around because it so much fun!

Time to be that guy!

[burtyjim]

Thanks very much you are right 100% right saying that has just put a hole new light on things thanks u might of just made my life great again

[Skell]

Thank you for the kind words.

I'm glad your feeling a little better. Just remember that there will be many ups and downs but if you stay positive then things will get better.

[Nohitter410]

That even helped me Skell... awesome insight

[bernc032]

hey... one of my really close friends was going out with this guy for about 6 years. They were well on their way to getting married > looking at houses, picking out a ring, opening joint bank accounts, when he just dropped everything without a specifc reason... what's my point? As lame as this may be, she joined myspace and looked up old friends, and found free things to do, and posted bullitens on myspace saying she was going to be at this place at this time, and if anyone wanted to join her, they were welcomed to... she has like 300 people now that she hangs out with for different things, and while she's not completely over her ex ( there's a lot more backstory to this relationship than I am telling), she's such a better person, such a stronger person and when I'm having trouble with my breakup, she's there saying it'll get better and that the person you become after getting over the ex is even better than the person who was in the relationship.. she wouldn't give up the last few years for anything.. I didn't really agree with the whole random meeting places, but she lucked out and didn't run into any weirdos... if you looked online I'm sure there are things to do where you can meet new people.. try citisearch.com, not sure if it works for the UK, myspace, even consider those speed dating things. According to some friends, they are a lot of fun, and even if you don't get a kiss or a cuddle out of it, you can make some really good friends. Sorry for the long post, hope it helps

[boedacious]

She Will Learn The Hard Way . You Will Find Someone .there's Someone For Everybody. You Just Haven't Found Her Yet

[chosen1]

Hello... going through he same thing. Together for 3 yrs and apart now over 6... she has been dating tattooed so called bad boys... she get over it... just don't contact her what's so ever... let it eat her up

[bernc032]

Are people forgetting that there's a reason the relationship didn't work out? What's with the "she'll get whats coming to her" mentality? Bitter are we?

[burtyjim]

OK thanks to all your post it really does help me also she is my brothers soon to be wife's sister so its very hard not to see here so any help

[bernc032]

Huh? She is going to be your sister in law? If that's the case then hmm, you are screwed... sorry, I couldn't help crack a joke there... assuming that both of you are going to be in the wedding, you can ask your brother to ask his fiancée, or you can ask her, not to pair you with your ex if they are planning on having the groomsmen pair off with the bridesmaids. I hope you do not let her and her actions keep you from celebrating your brother's marriage. If you are allowed to bring a date, bring along a female friend who knows the situation (if poosible) or at least a friend who will hang out with you, get you on the dance floor (not sure of what type of wedding your brother is planning, but I come from a catholic background... )... if she approaches you, you have every right to nod and walk away, or just walk away. If you feel up to it, stay and talk to her, interact with her, but keep in mind you have every right to avoid her. Unfortunately you can't run and hide. I'm sure your brother would miss having you partake in the festivities.

[burtyjim]

It will be a roman catholic wedding there from Italy OK that helps as well

[bernc032]

You could also use the time to shmooze up any single ladies that are there. Apparently weddings just make females fall all over themselves looking for a guy... or hang out with family members you haven't seen in awhile... just keep busy

[talaniman]

Doing the things you enjoy without here will put you in touch with like minded people. Or my favorite is volunteer work.