[Leah0778]

I'm 28 years old, and I broke up with my boyfriend a few months ago. At that time I just loved him and I was scared of the love he was showing me. I had never experiences it before with any of my past boyfriends. When we broke up I knew I broke his heart, but we both said we would still be friends.
He has called me a few times upset over family problems and some of the relationship problems that he has had. Now he could talk to his mom, sister, brother, anyone but me, but he calls me.Well one day it just slapped me in the face, that I am 100% head over hills in love with him. Now I don't talk too him a lot, and when I do he never says anything about getting back together with me. Well one day I decided to call him up and just tell him how I felt. He told me that he wasn't trying to be mean, but he was with someone now. I knew that already,and I was fine with it. Well the following day he called me up and told me that he needed someone to talk to, and ask me too come up too his work and pick him up.
He proceeded to tell me how he had gotten played and what not. I was asking him what was happen and he told me everything. I was there for him, and I wasn't pressuring him at all, but I was just telling him how I felt (I actually let him in, the wall came down), and I knew there was going to be a chance that they would work things out. And they did, and I'm fine with that really, because I feel that we are meant too be together, but I will not push him away with talking about my feelings for him, I told him what they are, and now the ball is in his court. I won't call him unless he calls me. Now my question is did I do the right thing? Why call me, when he has other people too talk to?

[ForeverZero]

I don't want to overstep my bounds, but from personal experience, I know it's hard, but try not to read into things too much. You being the person he calls does not necessarily mean anything beyond the fact that he likes your opinion on the matter, or he feels like since you've dated, you would offer better insight than somebody else as to his relationship problems. Personally, when I have a relationship problem I run straight to an ex to talk about it, but that doesn't mean I'm interested.

To answer your question, I'd say you've done and are doing the right thing. You've presented yourself as available if he wants it. Anything more would present an image of somebody that's desperate. Keep doing your thing and try to maintain an independent life, and don't spend your days waiting for him to take you back.

[tamed]

I think you did the right thing by not talking about your feelings and letting him make a decision. There could be a number of reasons he calls you. For starters, it could be that he feels comfortable with you, the other could be that because the two of you were involved for a while he may feel closer to you than he does anyone else. Whatever his reasons may be, the main point is that you are there for him as a friend foremost and you are willing to give him his space. I think that you are dealing with this much better than I've seen and must commend you for your maturity.
I do wish you all the best as you sound like you deserve it.

[s_cianci]

What you did was appropriate. Now leave things alone unless he contacts you.

[talaniman]

You've let him know how you feel so leave him alone to figure out what He wants.

[normalgirl]

My ex and I broke up like about four months ago because he left town, it was hard at first and on time it got better. Though I kissed other guys and did stupid stuff like calling, texting or emailing him, I finally made it through. The most hurting thing was that two weeks after he left, he told me (cz we kept on being friens, which is actually not so bad, but I don't recommend it if you're not over the relationship.) that he was seeing this other girl he met on his new town.

My first reaction was really fake because he told me on msn, so I prettended to be just fine. Two weeks later he came for a visit and we went out with our friends and when we were alone in his car I couldn't help it but tell him the true.

So I did and he told me he didn't love me anymore, you can imagine my face when he did. I felt awful. After he left I called him and told him that this time I was going to take him out of my life for a while because I wasn't ready yet. We didn't speak for like a month and I felt better. Though I kept knowing all about his relationship with her through Facebook.



Anyway, I finally felt better, but come on, I had to go through so much! I know it hurts but breakups are so much easier than what they seem. So, I've selected what I call easy steps that might help you not only to finally get over the relationship but to show your ex you're fine with him having a new girlfriend.



1. Don't: call him, text, or Skype, msn, Facebook, Hi5, etc. Really try to cut off contact. I know this is hard, believe me, I do, we had a really long relationship (actually the longest one I ever had) . Especially because you're used to a rutine next to this person, so this is the only way to move on.

2. Try: to keep the best memories, who wants hard feelings anyway? Better think of the relationship as a good thing that had to end eventually. Though you know that if it ended, whatever the reason was, you are always off for a new and better start. This might sound like a cliché but believe me, you so diserve bettter.

3. DON'T, really DON'T kiss or sleep with other guys just to make you feel beter or for revenge. This is the most "anti-helpful" thing you can do and here are two simple reasons why: First, you are giving for free everything to a guy you don't care about and who probably doesn't care about you either. And last, your ex is going to find out and this are your chances: he might feel dissapointed of you and think about you as a and that's for sure something you don't want; he also will think (which is true, most of the time at least, because guys have such a huge ego) that you're doing this just to get back at him and he'll feel like he's the most important thing in your life.

4. Stop: thinking about getting over the breakup. This might sound crazy, but believe me, as soon as you stop thinking about getting over him, you will. Because, you are giving too much importance about getting over it that you're not.

5. Talk: When you really feel like you can talk to him, if you stayed friends offcourse, and you feel okay with the fact that he might (like just happened to me) tell you about how he told her he loved her or whatever thing about his new girl, go ahead talk to him. Men think they are so important in our lives that we can't face things without them or even face them. Well a true fact is that if you show him you're fine, and by showing I don't mean telling him "Hey, I'm doing fine!" nooo, I mean show him you've learned from the breakup and that there's no reason why not to stay friends. As well let him know that you actually think his new girlfriend is really pretty (this might sound as the craziest thing ever, but it worked for me). This way you'll show him that you are totally fine with it.



Well, that's it. I really hope that this works for someone. I wrote it because I made all this mistakes in the past and I didn't find anyone who will actually tell me some sort of steps for free and the books or online guidance or whatever had a price. So this is completely uninterested help. I'm not going to charge you for reading it, haha, I just hope to read some of your stories, opinions and suggestions. Maybe in this way we can help each other.

And last but not least, 6. Remmember: though you made a lot for mistakes there's always time to show that you're doing fine. I'm sure you're a hottie, don't let anyone tell you either, but that's not the only thing. You're a great and smart girl. So what if he found a new girl, in time and with no pressure you'll find another guy as well, who believe me will make you happier.