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    chr17's Avatar
    chr17 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 9, 2010, 08:52 AM
    Why do I still have an attachment.
    So I dated this guy for almost 4 months, not long, I'm well aware. He broke up with me in August, its now December. Why am I still attached ? He was a complete butt to me and my family. My mom passed away four years ago. The weekend of her birthday in August is when he broke up with me, shortly after he broke up with me, he said. "oh yeah, tell your mom happy birthday for me, damm too bad!" he knew good and well that my mom was on my mind and I was a little upset that weekend. There isn't a way for it to be a sexual attachment, because we didn't do that but I mean, I just don't get ittt ?
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
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    #2

    Dec 9, 2010, 09:11 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by chr17 View Post
    i just don't get ittt ?
    Hello c:

    Like an ordinary guy, I have a SIMPLE solution... We're not that complicated, after all.. If you're like me (and you are), I've NEVER stopped loving ANY of the women I've loved...

    But, it takes MORE than love for things to work out, so you move on - like I did from my torrid relationship with Jane Crocker - my first love. That was because we were in the 4th grade, but I still love her. It's NEVER gone away. And, I don't mind remembering her in that fashion, either.

    excon

    PS> I don't know what it's got to do with the law, though.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #3

    Dec 9, 2010, 09:51 AM

    Obviously he's no good for you, so as long as you know that, loving him won't get in the way of a good decision.

    We all have many loves in our lives. I still feel love for most of my exes, but not enough to be with them, or take them back. If you cared enough about that person to be with them, is it so unusual to still feel love for them even after the relationship is over?

    I would also like to know why you put this question in the law forum. Do you have a legal question?
    chr17's Avatar
    chr17 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Dec 9, 2010, 12:56 PM
    I don't know why it is either. Hahah I suppose I messed it up. @Altenweg: its not that it isn't usual, it's that the caring I still have for him is stronger then any of the others.and I still communicate with them, where with him, I don't.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Dec 9, 2010, 08:58 PM

    You probably had more emotional investment into him, both good, and bad, and just need longer than the 4 months you have had since the break up, to completely get over the things that happened. That's not unusual, and maybe this is a first for you, as you said.

    He said some cruel things, but you can work to get through whatever intense feelings you may still have, and let them go. It wouldn't be at all surprising if you still hold some anger still. I don't think you two will ever be friends like your other exes, but eventually you will heal and let him go completely.

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