[Alexie2009]

Hi I have a 19 month old daughter who has been living with me her mother since she was born. Her father is now threating to take me to court because I won't allow his mother around my daughter for the simple reason she has brought my daughter home with her face covered in blood. I would like to know if we were to go to court would he be able to take her from me? He just got out of jail last year for robbery and assult. Also I read on line that since we weren't married or living together when she was born I atomaticly have custody is that true?

[ScottGem]

Yes you probably automatically have custody. But that doesn't mean he can't go to court to get custody. Its unlikely, with his record that he will get anything more than visitation maybe only supervised visitation.

[Blackula]

In most states, the court will automatically award custody to the most unfit parent with a criminal record -- wait, I got that backwards. If the fathers name is not on the birth certificate then he must first establish paternity before having any custodial rights whatsoever. If paternity is established then you can, in turn, seek child support. So really, all he would be doing by going to court is shooting himself in the foot. He is very likely to lose the case but almost guaranteed to be court ordered to pay child support. However, even unmarried fathers have parental rights. The most that he could hope for would be visitation rights, and considering his criminal record, it wouldn't be unreasonable for these visits to be supervised by a child protection advocate.

To strengthen your case, break off all contact with the father, except through your lawyer. File for a restraining order. Document everything! Your daughter came home from his mother's home with blood on her face, then have it in writing with as many details as you can remember, statements from witnesses, and any documentation from a hospital or doctor (if you took her). Keep a written record of any conversation that you have with the father from now on, as well as any incidents that may arise. You can record phone conversations, but they are only admissible in court if you inform him at the start of the conversation that he is being recorded. This strengthens your case, as well as any counter-suits for harassment, etc.

[Alexie2009]

My daughter was brought home from her fathers by his mother with her face covered in blood o I have the right to refuse to allow her to pick my child up anymore?

[Alexie2009]

I am from canada not the states

[Blackula]

No. Anyone who wants to can take your child from you at a moments notice so long as they promise to return her home with blood on her face.. . Oh wait, that's European law. Unless the father has a court ordered right to visitation, you are the sole guardian of your child. Nobody is allowed to do anything with her. You can report her grandparents for trespassing if they so much as set foot on your property. If you are threatened or harassed over the issue then keep your cool (no yelling and no threats in return) and keep a written record, and viola! You yourself have grounds for a lawsuit. You really do need to find a legal advocate in your community rather than trying to get advice on the Internet.

[ScottGem]

First, please don't use the Comments feature for follow-up. Use the Answer options instead. Second, please don't start multiple threads over the same issue. I've merged your threads for you.

i am from canada not the states

Should have told us that in the beginning. But Canadian law is not that much different. Your having custody by default and him needing to go to court to get custody remains true.

[ScottGem]

In most states, the court will automatically award custody to the most unfit parent with a criminal record -- wait, I got that backwards.

No. Anyone who wants to can take your child from you at a moments notice so long as they promise to return her home with blood on her face . . . oh wait, that's European law.

Stop trying to be cute and just answer the questions.

[ScottGem]

It might help if you explain to us what happened that she had blood on her face. Was this a first time incident?

Yes, without a court order of visitation, you can refuse access. That doesn't mean that a court won't order visitation.

[Fr_Chuck]

Also remember that if you do cut off contract, this can and normally does go against you. They see this as you trying to harm the child's relationship with the other parent.

But the father has the right to set up court approved visits, and can allow the chlld to see his mother unless there is a real danger.

A child can often have minor accidents, merely having some blood on them does not say what the problem was.

[Blackula]

But fortunately, you can just delete any comment that points out a fault in your "expertise." Nice.

[ScottGem]

Comment on ScottGem's post
But fortunately, you can just delete any comment that points out a fault in your "expertise." Nice.

I have to respond here because you are either blocking PMs are are too new to have them enabled so I could not respond to your PM. I'm not going to get into a public fight with you. I will simply warn you once more that personal attacks attacks and insults are not allowed here. Your posts have been removed because they violate our rules and for NO other reason. Your comments have no merit, they have no basis in fact and they are simply your striking back because you didn't like being criticized.

One last point, I just checked and noticed that you have posted several recent posts which do nothing but attack other members. This will not be tolerated.

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