[kehrreich]

IWell my boyfriend of 3 years just broke up with me. We shared so much love with each other over that period. Except when we did fight they sometimes bad because I can get upset so easily. I've tried to not get this way but when I get hurt I usually just see red. Now he tells me out of nowhere he isn't sure about us and can't do it anymore. He said never say never but doesn't see me changing. Everyone we know is in shock... his family is trying to help me. Since he seems to be shutting everyone else out. I just don't and can't believe its over that quickly and easily. We started as friends and he said he thinks we can be friends again someday just not now... He said there isn't anyone else... I did ask that question and no one can see him doing that to me.. neither can I... help in your thoughts I'm trying to stay strong but its so hard..

[ironhide262]

Best to just give him what he wants . Agree to the breakup and just let him be. He wanted the breakup so, there's not much you can do about it.

It's a very emotional time right now... for the both of you. Just let the dust settle. Only time will tell if he will want this. Stay out of his hair and just leave him alone. The more you beg, plead, or try to argue, however logical it may be, you will just drive him further away.

Read all the stickies at the top of the relationship page. If he does want to come back to you it will only be by his own choice. Use this time to focus on your communication/anger issues. This didn't just happen all of a sudden... it's been brewing for a while now. Feel free to come on here and vent all you want. Lots of good people willing to help!

[kehrreich]

Thanks that helped a lot.. I'm going to do my best to let him go in the hopes we will go back to each other

[answerme_tender]

kehrreich,

Unfortuantely its wasn't just over like that---Its been heading this way and you just didn't want to see it. People sometimes just reach a point were they just don't want to work at it anymore. Maybe he just couldn't take you seeing red all the time instead of being able to have a reasonable conversation about issues that upset both of you. After a certain amount of time people just get tired of the blow ups that just cause extra drama. He may feel that you won't change, he has given you 3 years and you still choose to see red.

I don't know if he will ever want to come back. But the bigger issue here is , what are you going to do about your temper and the way you handle disagreements. This is a perfect time for you to get some counseling on how to improve your life!

Once you get yourself together and can actually show by example and not just by words, may get someone's attention. Good luck

[ironhide262]

Hope can be a very dangerous attitude to get in during a breakup. For most people giving up all hope it what leads to finally recovering from a breakup. This breakup business can be a very crazy, ugly rollercoaster ride but, only if you let it be that way. You are still in the early stages of the breakup so far.

If you do some research you will find that very little people breakup and successfully get back together for very long(Sorry). The same problems keep resurfacing. Go through any grieving process you must but, you will find that the closer you get to acepting what has happened the sooner you can move on.

[talaniman]

This wasn't the quick and easy decision you think it was. Over time he got tired of your anger, and being so easily upset. He broke up because he doesn't see that changing, and could no longer put up with it. Leave him, and his family alone, and accept this break up, because that's what HE wants, and it doesn't matter who thinks what, except him.

No, I doubt he will be back, but the real question is will you work on, and change how easily you get upset, and learn to control your temper?

Do that for YOURSELF, whether he changes his mind, or not!!