[AOK.family]

So then it is appropriate to attack someone if they say that the advice they were given was not accurate?

[ScottGem]

Comment on ScottGem's post
So then it is appropriate to attack someone if they say that the advice they were given was not accurate?

I did not say that. I simply said that you were not attacked. The only thing that MIGHT be considered an attack was posted after you gave an inappropriate negative comment. I do find it interesting, though, that out of my full explanation that is what you picked up on. I also said, that if you feel a post violates our rules than report it.

[AOK.family]

In all honesty I would like to know what the point of the "Is this helpful?" buttons are for?
If a comment truly was not helpful and you select that then how have you violated anything or made a negative comment.


Unless this site is just a hangout for a select few individuals who will not accept criticism from others. As I expect it to be.

[cdad]

I don't think your aware of how this site works. We have 2 basic areas. Areas of fact and areas of opinion. In the section your currently in it is a fact based section. What that means is the advice given must fall under certain guidelines that fit facts pertaining to the situation. Now if someone answer something because they misread it. But answered it factully. Then we don't tend to punish people for their answers. But if they are way off base as to the law that is another story. We all here are fully aware that sometimes we get it wrong. But for the most part we also police things here to so it ensures that mistakes aren't being made.

With your question there seems to be many assumptions when in fact your confusing yourself. Sometimes too much information is as bad as none at all. That is why you might not be looking at the big picture because your stuck in between.

I stand by what I have said all along. Seek adoption. Make it final. And that way you can make the decisions for the children.

[ScottGem]

In all honesty I would like to know what the point of the "Is this helpful?" buttons are for?
If a comment truley was not helpful and you select that then how have you violated anything or made a negative comment.

This is a fair question. But, if you read the guidelines for using this feature, you might have a better understanding. Part of the issue is that you see only one view of this site and one that has only recently been implemented. There are different "skins" to this site. The one you are using is very new. So the Helpful/Not Helpful designation is only in that view. Those Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down icons are tied to a ratings system. The unfortunate aspect of such a system is that people will often give negative ratings out of spite so the guidelines that I linked you to (you did read them didn't you?) give specific instances when a negative rating should be used.

Also, as CalifDad pointed out, there are two types of forums here. One type is technical (or fact-based) the other type is non technical (or opinion based). People are entitled to their opinions, whether you agree or not or find helpful or not. For that reason we set rules for using that feature that it ONLY be used to correct an answer that is factually incorrect. Another point here is that advice you may think or feel is not helpful, may actually be very helpful. In fact, you stated the response was not helpful because it didn't apply to your situation and then chided the responder that she didn't read the whole question. I've gone over and looked at the response and what you had previous posted and I don't see where the response DID NOT apply.

Now this does not mean you can't add a response to your thread in which you disagree with the advice given or state reasons you think the advice did not help. You are free to do so. It's just using the rating to do when there is no clear misstatement of fact in the answer being rated that is against the rules.

Unless this site is just a hangout for a select few individuals who will not accept criticism from others. As I expect it to be.

Now this is totally UNFAIR. When criticism is warranted its accepted. In your case the criticism has been very unwarranted. I don't know how much you have browsed around here, it appears to be minimal, but to make such a blanket statement with little experience is totally unfair and I might add, totally inaccurate. The people here donate their time and expertise to help others. You were given a lot of help, but instead of appreciating the FACT that people gave of their time to help you, you attack us simply because you didn't like what seems to be ONE answer. I wonder who is the one that can't take criticism here? In my opinion you owe the members of this site an apology for your crass and rude behavior.

[AOK.family]

We (being my husband and I) would like to seek adoption but so far have received mixed information from more than three attorneys both in our state and in CA. We cannot have the chidlren come live with us until we get some sort of guardianship because without guardianship they will not be covered by our medical insurance. Children need medical and dental. As long as they live in CA they are covered under a medical assistance program because my father makes under a certain amount of money but the Riverside county probate court parralegal assitance center says that we cannot get guardianship unless the children are in our care. This does not make sense to me.

They have to live with us to get guardianship but we can't get guardianship until they are living with us? Catch 22..

Adoption is the ultimate goal but we have been advised by two separate attorneys from two separate states CA and here that we have to have legal custody or guardianship before we can apply for custody.

We do not want to submit paperwork, pay the money, and have a judge say no. We feel in the long run it may look bad if we have been denied. Even if it was only because we do not live in the same state.

[cdad]

Have you only been consulting lawyers or have you contacted agencies in your area?

Here is some links if you haven't already found them.


California Adoption - Adopting in California. Adoptees, Adopt, Birth Mothers, Search & Reunion

CALIFORNIA ADOPTION PROCESS

Adoption

[ScottGem]

First, it is correct that the children cannot legally come live with you until you get guardianship. Though, they could come to visit with a limited Power of Attorney.

But I really find it hard to believe that the current guardian cannot agree to a transfer of guardianship where the court would simply rubber stamp it.

I can understand not wanting to invest in an attorney, but there are fairly simple forms that can be submitted to the court for a nominal filing fee.

California Courts: Self-Help Center: Families & Children: Guardianship (Probate Court): Guardianship Forms & Instructions

Or you can invest a small amount in a book that would provide help for you:
The Guardianship Book for California - Nolo

Since your husband is active military have you tried asking for help from his service's legal arm?