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girlneedsanwser · Nov 15, 2010, 03:21 PM

I am in a relationship with a wonderful man. We have been together over 2 years. When I talk to my girlfriends, I feel like I am missing out.

He is my first boyfriend ever... so that means he is my first.
I want to know that our sex relationship is what it should, that he is doing to me is satisfying me. I feel that I am missing out. Maybe he is inexperienced also since I am his second, but I just want to know.
We have talked about it, and he is not made, he said that if I were to be with someone else, could he, and I said absolutely.

I do not know what to do. Help please!

Wondergirl · Nov 15, 2010, 03:33 PM

Go to 612 (human sexuality, sex ed) at your public library, and check out some books from that area. Many of the books have illustrations, by the way.

QLP · Nov 15, 2010, 03:50 PM

If you, or he, find the sex more satisfying elsewhere then what?
If you fall pregnant and don't know who the father is?
If you catch an STD?
If one of you likes it and wants to continue the experiment but the other one doesn't?
Your decision, but don't walk into it blindly.

Synnen · Nov 15, 2010, 04:22 PM

I think you should break up with your boyfriend if you're that dissatisfied.

It's not fair to EITHER of you to sleep around and keep him hanging on.

I suggest that the two of you get some books to enhance your sex life instead, because QLP is right--you're playing with too many versions of fire if you decide to do this.

Cat1864 · Nov 15, 2010, 04:57 PM

How old are you?

Let me get this straight. You want to have sex with someone other than your boyfriend just for the experience and your boyfriend is okay with that and you are okay with him having sex with another woman.

This is probably going to be harsh.

What exactly do you think you are missing? What exactly do you think you would get out of having meaningless sex with a stranger whose health or trustworthiness you don't know? Unless you are planning to seduce a friend or meet someone and get to know him just for sex.

If you are happy in your relationship, why test it? If you aren't happy, why stay?

Inexperience is something you work through together by being open and learning from each other with use of other adult related materials. Love adds so much to the experience why would you want to try it without emotions?

QLP · Nov 15, 2010, 07:48 PM

I might also add that I have been having sex with the same man for over 25 years and we are still finding new things to enjoy. Yes, you might just find something new with a different person, but you might be disappointed, and the risks seem disproportionate to me. If you are both open minded enough to consider playing away surely you are both open to experimenting and communicating to make the most of things together. The grass isn't usually greener...

Fr_Chuck · Nov 15, 2010, 08:48 PM

You sound very selfish, are you not happy, what do you think you are missing.

Sex is a relationship that grows as the couple talks about what they like or want together

smoothy · Nov 16, 2010, 05:42 AM

If you feel like "you are missing out" then the relationship isn't what you said it is... and he isn't as wonderful as you said he is.

If it really was right you would know its right, and not care if someone else was maybe getting more than you are, etc.

You know you will always be wondering that... and in fact... there probibly IS someone getting something more... but the fact also remains... they might be getting it from someone you wouldn't even like much less love.

Example... I'm been married 19 years. There are things I'd like to do, that I can't or wife won't. But know what, I am happy with what I do have and do get that what I "MIGHT" be able to get doesn't really matter that much to me. Because I probibly would not like or get along with that person nearly as well as I do with my wife. Who like all of us has her flaws. And I know the Grass being greener on the other side of the fence is an optical illusion. And the gate to the other field has a habit of locking behind you so you can't come back.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 16, 2010, 07:02 AM

You know, it is what I am not seeing in the few lines, I don't see I am in "love" with this person, merely they are in a relationship, and the OP is basing how well the relationshiip is on their sexual level.

It sounds as if perhaps they need to look into what values they are placing on the entire relationship