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pinky9 · Nov 4, 2007, 10:36 PM

Ok. Here's the deal. I'm a very very sexual person. But of course, I'm very respectful. I will only have sex with one person. I have been with my man for 2 years now. But I have always noticed that he doesn't like to finish... it's almost like he only likes to be hard so that I can finish. A lot of times I feel like he does it like a duty. A lot of other times, he will start to go on me, how I like it, and then he will stop and tell me his back hurts, or he is tired, or his knees keep slipping on the bed so he can't "do it right." OF COURSE this annoys me and makes me angry... but I don't know what to do about it... :mad: I love it when he gives me good sex, but it's not so often. Once he was giving it to me on the living room floor, which was awesome, but I was TOO turned on. He asked me, "do you like it this way" and I responded with "yes i want you to F**** me..." he just stared at me blankly and stopped and told me that he thoguht that was a turn off... He said "give me just 15 mins and i'll be turned on again." Of course, I'm waiting for him, and we end up just going to sleep... It's almost like a game with him. He knows how much I love making love to him, he uses it like a treat!! IT's really annoying!! :( ALSO when I feel like I want to please him... I try, but he gets embarrassed, he doesn't like the fact that I am giving him oral sex... I don't get that. I thought guys liked oral sex... I don't know. Is it me? Maybe I'm too horny all the time... hahaha :D

Synnen · Nov 5, 2007, 01:02 AM

Okay... this guy has issues.

Sex should NEVER be used as a weapon, or a tool.

You NEED to talk to him about it, and tell him how it makes you feel. If he's not willing to change after hearing how you feel about it, then you need to get yourself (and him too, if he'll go) into some counseling.

When sex is used against one side of a relationship, or withheld deliberately with malice, there is something extremely unhealthy about the relationship.

Trenten80 · Nov 5, 2007, 03:03 PM

I agree with Synnen. Talk to him about it. See what's up. If you told him what you just told us I am sure you guys could work things out. Let us know how it goes. :-)

KBC · Nov 5, 2007, 05:37 PM

I also agree with Synnen,

Sometimes a 'man' can feel intimidated by too powerful a sexual woman.

I, for one, had a tough time when 'she' was so aggressive, I got turned off. Afterwards I would wonder why.

I really do enjoy the 'idea' of a sexually independent,self confident,woman, but there have been a few I felt totally belittled by.

I am NOT saying change who you are,never do that for another's comfort, that is a co-dependent behavior I would never endorse,seeking a way to be yourself AND meeting your goals is a balance only you can find.

Counseling,even if it is just for you only, can do wonders for you( no I don't think you are different, very sexual and vibrant,not weird) and to find answers to his behaviors,Pat Benatar made it clear,, "Stop Using Sex As A Weapon" Play it for him and see his reaction... LOL

Ash123 · Nov 5, 2007, 06:11 PM

He has insecurities about you all.

He doesn't feel special.

I think he thinks you could get off with anyone, anywhere- which may be true - but you are not interested in that right now :-) and he wants to feel like an alpha male.

Reinforce how good he is to you... and how good only HE makes you feel... and don't chat away about all the things that turn you on unless it's him.

Other than that, you may be a sexual mismatch... you are ready for action and he wants to think about it... if you all are made for each other, recognize these differenes and work with it. If so... keep trying.

He could finish in your mouth perhaps and you can tell him how great he tastes and only him - hey, just a thought.