[JaneDoe24]

Basically, I miss my first. We were up & down for a few years and dated people while staying friends in between the times we've been together. The most recent time we ended, it was because they wanted someone else so now I'm kind of left behind picking up the pieces of my emotions. Half of me is copisetic with the idea of being single because now I can work on me and become a better person on my own with out the excess drama of a relationship, but the other half of me is miserable without her. Ughhh. I know that it will get better but it feels horrible knowing the person your in love with is with someone else. It makes me sick because I don't think there's anything I can do about it. We've tried talking but she doesn't want a friendship because it only makes things worse supposibly. So I don't know, but somebody please tell me what to do.

[mmresd]

If she has made her decision then the best thing to do is starting moving on. Remember that the sooner you start the sooner it will happen. She doesn't want to be with you, so go on and find someone who does, maybe even someone better (it is OK if you think she is the "best" thing out there, that feeling will eventually go away). Also, do take the time improving yourself, now that you have this extra time and have to begin a new daily routine, don't waste it and use it for something productive, even someone as simple as working out, it will keep your mind entertained while your heart heals, till then, try to keep yourself as busy as possible.

Good Luck,

Javi

[Devorameira]

There really isn't any decision to be made here - she's already made it.

I'm sorry, but you're just going to have to face the reality of the situation. She broke it off with you and doesn't want any relationship with you at all. Move on!

[Jake2008]

On again, off again relationships, are due to eventually be off- permanently.

When you hit a snag in a relationship, that is the stuff that makes or breaks two people up. If you work through the problems, and keep going together, communicating, compromising, working things out, you keep the connection. When you break up when the communication breaks down,and problems are not solved, and then get back together again, you are doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past. Why? Because the problems don't go away, they just resurface.

Eventually, that pattern leaves you single. You may miss the good, loving parts of your now ex, but, without any success in the communication department, love eventually is not enough to keep a relationship strong and healthy.

If things do work out that the two of you try again, I would suggest that you seek couples counselling, and learn how to communicate. It isn't something that couples have equal portions of, nor is it something that comes naturally for most of us. It is a learned skill, and an impartial counsellor, can help put the problems that keep breaking the two of you up, on the table. Then you can see if, after working through them, whether you are actually compatible, and committed enough to each other, to make a relationship together, work.