[josh284]

I got out of a relationship about 2 months ago... maybe a little longer. Went through hell with the whole thing and she said she left because she wasn't happy... we had many other issues along the way with our son which I'm taking to court to get full custody since I apparently need to be Mr. Mom until she grows up. A lot of issues have happened with us since the breakup but about 2 weeks later another number started showing up on my bill.. turns out its her new fling she had met out partying. Apparently he had just gotten out of a relationship within the last week according to one of my girlfriends (who's fiance's best friend is this guy) and he just found out his daughter of 2 yrs. Isn't his. She;s living back with her mom and dad and on her way home from his house in the morning she picks him up till I'm done with work since she hasn't tried getting a job yet. Anyway... I'm curious... do you think this is something going to last? I'm already having a tough time dealing with this breakup and having to take this to court for my son's sake, and her dating someone else but now I'm even more worried about her moving in with him which is about 20 miles away at least and her taking my son with her. My girlfriend tells me they sound causally there for each other but I really dread another dude tucking my son in at night. Ahhhhh.

[pandead]

To be honest, I'm surprised by the title of your question. Your ex's new relationship is none of your business as long as your son is safe, happy and healthy. He should be your priority right now.

I know you are heartbroken and hurt because of your ex's actions and behaviour. And I know you don't approve how immature and irresponsible she is. But you can't do anything about it, it's her life - and as long as she takes good care of your child she can date whoever she wants, rebound or not.

How old is your son? If he's old enough, you can try to talk about the separation process with him.

Don't rush into anything just yet. All this is exhausting enough. Get your life in order first; you need a lot of strength to go through the trial and make sure your kid has a "normal" life.

Seems like your ex has a lot of growing up to do, so you will have to be the grown-up. This is unfair, I know, but you will be the one who is there for your child and you will slowly heal and move on while you do it. Remember if it comes to that, if you're seriously worried about your son's safety, there is always legal ways to put things in order. But right now, you can't really let your emotional state or jealousy get in the way. Good luck.

[mystific]

He said she said. Who cares?

Focus priorities.. son.. you.. everything else.

You don't like the idea of another man putting your son to bed, point in fact she's not going to like the idea of your girlfriend putting him to bed. Its just one of those things you have to deal with.

Pandead's right. You're still involving yourself in her life. Too much. Its not your place any longer. She made it no longer your place when she left.. remember. Your still so hooked up in what's she's doing or not what she's doing, have you thought about your own relationship with your current girlfriend? Its as fast as your ex has moved on.

Sort your head out first. Prioritise the important things in your life.. because no matter which way you turn your still accounting for her.

[josh284]

My current girlfriend? I don't have one.. :? Confused.

[josh284]

Oh... I see the confusion.. no that is just a girl... friend who is engaged. Lol sorry...

[mystific]

OK so if we minus the element of misinterpretation of the girlfriend.. the essence is still the same. You're still involving yourself too much in your ex's business. No matter how dodgy, flighty and adolescent she is.. its now her life, the only link you have to her is your son and his well being.

And Im fairly certain you'll be a great Mr Mom, that's the easy part.. letting everything else go is the hard part.