[General_Ameed]

Hi I'm 14 years old and I just sometimes feel that I need to kill someone
I recently have had anger problems after my life replaying prob
But since I was about ten yrs old I've had something weird in me I had a fight for no reason I was going to kill someone for no reason
I'm losing my friends sometimes we are walking in the streets I just lose control for no reason and get into a fight my face gets red
And I have power that I never knew that I had (onley a half more of my normal streangh)
And I just start hitting although I don't have problems with my friends I fight with them for no reason at all its like my soul has no control over my body its like sleeping but I am awake its hard to explain like I'm here and I'm not here please help quick I just don't want to lose all my friends I'm afraid to walk in the streets all alone because if I got ino a fight that no one will be there to break up and he might hit me but I don't feel anything this must be stopped please help quick
I'm reacently having lots of problems like fear of people not sleeping and when I sleep I'm half awake when I am fully awake I can remmeber very little of what happened last night I'm very afraid that I might kill someone especially that I have a stash of hidden weopons in my room (for protection)
And I don't want to talk to my parents about this they will scare me more I need help before I kill someone
I swear this is all true I just can't control myself

[Imperfection]

Well to me I think you should really consider letting your parents know and getting some help, this could get worse, though I doubt that you would ever end up killing anyone or seriously getting hurt.

[General_Ameed]

I can't tell anything to my parents unless I cross the line then I can tell them

[Imperfection]

Its better you tell your parents now before you cross that line, you could have a serious problem like emotionally or something. Its best to let them know now so they can try and help you with it.

[Homegirl 50]

You need to talk to your parents and get some help. Talk to a counselor at school they can talk to your parents.
This is not something you want to just "wait and see"

[justcurious55]

I agree, you need to talk to your parents. Sooner rather than later. And get rid of the weapons. At 14, you shouldn't have weapons period for any reason. Especially not with the issues you've described. You do need professional help and your parents can help you get that.

[General_Ameed]

The onley expnation for weopons is that there are a lot of robbers and killers here so if someone broke into our house I could do something

[Homegirl 50]

You need to get help. This situation is nothing to ignore or play around with.
Talk to your parents so they can get to some help.

[cdad]

the onley expnation for weopons is that there are alot of robbers and killers here so if someone broke into our house i could do something

I think the only thing that might happen in a situation like that is your going to kill one of your family members by mistake. You don't want that. So get control of yourself now before its too late.

[General_Ameed]

I guess your right but I don't want to lose what I do I just want to control it because it could be very useful someday

[Fr_Chuck]

Since real and proper people don't get into "physcial fights" which are illegal, you have crossed the line.

And yes there are many ways to gain self control and if one actually has physcial strengh they don't lose it, but often in anger we don't understand what we use.

I found martial arts, from the right school teaches self control and teaches you that fighting is the last thing you do, even running away is first, but if you can't run you learn to channel your energy properly.

[General_Ameed]

That's my problem I'm afraid if I go to martial arts that I might lose control
And I don't know why this is happening to me its either I'm starting to get afraid of people or I'm starting to get too angry too much
It doesn't matterknow because I'm going to a phsyciatrist today then ill know y
And about fighting where I live yes its iligal but its everywhere in school home streets everywhere I look I see fights so its kind of normal to get into a fight

[Fr_Chuck]

No it is not "normal" to get into a fight, only low level, uneducated people do that. Normally.

EVeryone if they have no choice may have to fight but only out of self defense.

[dontknownuthin]

Thse weird feelings you are describing are blackouts, where your emotions are taking over your body. It's not power, but rather pain. It's not power or control - it's a loss of power and control over yourself. You are paying a very high price and it could get worse. Rather than losing friends, you could kill a friend. You could end up in jail, or dead yourself because you are triggering violence with your own behavior.

The ability to protect yourself is useful, yes - the lack of control is never useful. You need to gain emotional control so that you can have friends and can stop having these blind rages and these urges to hurt or kill people.

Please talk to your school counselor, or call a hospital - anything you can do to reach out. My guess is that you've been deeply hurt, perhaps violently. There are people who care and who will help. Do not ruin your life by waiting until you are convicted of criminal assault and battery or worse.

[General_Ameed]

He told me that "its mostley fear of people that i think might hurt me and that im getting sad too much with the (house or street) enviroment thats around me and that might outflow the negative side of me which will make me do somthing that i dont want to do"
So I guess ill stay away from fighting with my parents and start trusting people more (ill try)
And I hope thing work out.

[justcurious55]

Who told you that? It's hard to just start trusting people. Do you have a counselor to help you and support you? It's good that you have goals but it's good to have a support system.

[General_Ameed]

What he meant by people was my parents and the people who are close to me

[justcurious55]

Again, who is "he"? And it doesn't matter if it's people close to you or people in general. Learning to trust people is difficult. Is this someone who is going to help you through this process?

[Homegirl 50]

You need to be seeing a counselor on a regular basis to help you cope with these feelings.
Are you being bullied at school?

[General_Ameed]

No I'm not being bullied no one acualy can bully me unless they go to gyms
And I'm the onley one in my class who goes to gyms and that makes some people afraid of me (and I hate that) and after what is happening to me they are more afraid