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    lace_face11's Avatar
    lace_face11 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 25, 2010, 10:12 AM
    My Mother Just Does Not Care
    When I was born, my mother was soooo not prepared. I'm 17 and have been to 22 schools. I dropped out this yr and took GED classes so I guess that's 23.She always yelled at me and slapped me once. Lately, (the past 4 days) we've been fighting. She almost hit me again today.I keep trying to figure out if it's me or her. I don't want to go to counseling with her and I know if I do, doctors here always blame the child. I just want to know my options.I'm still looking for a job and I don't have my own car so I can't just leave
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #2

    Oct 25, 2010, 10:20 AM

    Why on earth do doctors blame the child?? Where do you live?

    Parents would bring their misbehaving child to me for counseling and say, "Fix this kid!" It turned out the parents had the problems in their relationship and interactions, and the child's behavior problems were a result of the parents' problems.

    Most counselors and psychologists are aware of the family system, the family dynamics. I think you need to give counseling a chance. She will always be your mother, and you her daughter (son?). Mend the relationship now?

    Why have you been to so many schools?
    ITstudent2006's Avatar
    ITstudent2006 Posts: 2,243, Reputation: 329
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    #3

    Oct 25, 2010, 11:31 AM

    I agree with WG. I also wonder why you've been to so many schools?

    I myself have been to 13, I know it's rough.

    Rick
    slapshot_oi's Avatar
    slapshot_oi Posts: 1,537, Reputation: 589
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    #4

    Oct 25, 2010, 11:44 AM

    I don't know what answer you're looking for 'cause you're options are pretty clear since you've already nixed therapy: either move out, or stay and deal with her.

    All I can suggest is to find a job, any job will do at this point and there is work out there, the economic crisis isn't affecting our generation as badly as it is the Boomers, and rent an apartment.
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
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    #5

    Oct 25, 2010, 01:31 PM

    Being 17 you are close to 18. So emancipation is out of the question. By the time you prove yourself and go through the courts you will have reached 18 already.
    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
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    #6

    Oct 25, 2010, 01:42 PM

    I agree with Slapshot.

    Considering you won't go to counseling only leaves you with a couple of options. Either move out or stay and deal with her.

    Frankly if I were your situation, I would try to talk to her and go to counseling. I would hope that that would be beneficial for both you and she in the long run, even if you still move out.

    Don't you want to better your relationship with your Mother?

    Yes, she was young. I don't know her side of the story. I don't know why you had to change schools all of the time. For all I know, she and she alone had to take care of you. She might still be bitter from that. Not saying it is right to yell at you.

    Why do you think the Docters don't believe kids?

    Was your Father in the picture?

    Were your Grandparents (her parents) in the picture?

    Did she have a support system when she was 17?

    Why are you two fighting a lot lately?
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
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    #7

    Oct 25, 2010, 01:47 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Enigma1999 View Post
    I agree with Slapshot.

    Considering you won't go to counseling only leaves you with a couple of options. Either move out or stay and deal with her.
    Since this is now posted in the legal board. This person is a minor and can not just move out without parental permission. They would still be legally obligated by and to the parent.

    And if attempted the mother could call the police to have the OP dragged back home. As the mother is still responsible for the child.
    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
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    #8

    Oct 25, 2010, 01:59 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by califdadof3 View Post
    Since this is now posted in the legal board. This person is a minor and can not just move out without parental permission. They would still be legally obligated by and to the parent.

    And if attempted the mother could call the police to have the OP dragged back home. As the mother is still responsible for the child.
    You are correct. I wasn't aware that this was in the legal board until you brought it to my attention. I read the title of this and then read his question.

    I wouldn't recommend that he move out. I was hoping that we could discuss what's causing the fighting between the two and hoping that I could give him advice on making their relationship work out.

    I will leave the legal part of it up to the legal experts. If the OP is wanting advice on their relationship and how to better it, I will be here if he needs me to be.
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
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    #9

    Oct 25, 2010, 02:51 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Enigma1999 View Post
    You are correct. I wasn't aware that this was in the legal board until you brought it to my attention. I read the title of this and then read his question.

    I wouldn't recommend that he move out. I was hoping that we could discuss what's causing the fighting between the two and hoping that I could give him advice on making their relationship work out.

    I will leave the legal part of it up to the legal experts. If the OP is wanting advice on their relationship and how to better it, I will be here if he needs me to be.
    No problem. I suspect it may have been moved here from somewhere else. Happens all the time ;)
    lace_face11's Avatar
    lace_face11 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Oct 27, 2010, 11:47 PM
    Comment on Wondergirl's post
    Daughter.. and yeah dr's do that down here. I'm in Alabama.
    lace_face11's Avatar
    lace_face11 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Oct 27, 2010, 11:47 PM
    Comment on ITstudent2006's post
    Because she would whore around with people and theyd kick us out or she would leave.
    lace_face11's Avatar
    lace_face11 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Oct 27, 2010, 11:48 PM
    Comment on slapshot_oi's post
    You can't find a job in the town I'm in.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #13

    Oct 28, 2010, 07:47 AM

    Quote Originally Posted by comment
    daughter..and yeah dr's do that down here. i'm in alabama.
    Doctors are trained in Alabama the same way they are anywhere else. Psychologists/psychiatrists/counselors are trained to listen beyond one client. Have you given your side of things to a doctor/counselor?

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