[confusedclouds]

I'm in a relationship with my fiancée for about 10 years.We're both 30 years old. However, I believe marriage is not his priority. I've always asked him to love me better, as I don't feel loved at all. He will not call or text me until I do so. And most of the time he will not return my missed call. However, he will do it when it comes to his friends. He doesn't really care about me and each time I brought this up, he will think that I'm picking a fight. All he wants is me to be good to him all the time and even if I was unhappy, I shouldn't get mad. Recently, he was really sick for close to 2 weeks. I took him to see doctor twice, spent time with him until he was admitted to hospital (I wanted to take him to the hospital at first but he refused to go). I couldn't take any leave due to my heavy workload. However, I paid him a visit right after work. I felt bad about it, however, I know he has friends and family to take care of him. I consistently checked on him through text. Throughout these days, never once I felt he will appreciate what I had done for him. Until the day he was discharged, I wanted to drive to his place just to spend time with him. I called him and asked about his condition. As usual, he won't ask me how I'm doing and so on. I felt neglected and I ended up driving back home alone. I texted him at night asking about his condition again. He didn't reply this time. I waited until the next day afternoon and yet he still didn't call or reply my text. I got mad and I was asking myself that why can't he call or text back when he can do it for his friends? I was so mad until I texted him telling him that he doesn't appreciate what I've done for him. And I started to back off knowing that no matter how much I care for him, he will not appreciate. We had a fight over the phone and I was so mad until I said "Don't you think that you're so great even when you're sick!"

Yesterday, we quarelled again and I drove to his place. He was shouting, as usual and he thinks I'm at fault. He said that I didn't care about him and I wasn't there for him from the very first day he was sick. I was surprised because I was the one who took him to see doctor twice when he was having a high fever and I spent time with him until the day he didn't reply my text. He told me that his friends took a cab just to visit him, called him everyday just to check on him. I asked him "What about me since I did check on your condition from time to time?". He turned around and said that I didn't even care about him, I wasn't there for him and he didn't even read my texts when he indeed replied to my all my messages except for the last text. How could he not remember what I've done too? None of the things that I've done he will appreciate. He told me "treat me good and I will treat you good". But when I treated him good, he treated me worse with his ignorance. Our problem in this relationship is his ignorance and he always thinks it's my problem when he doesn't even pay attention or show me love. Will a man not text his woman asking on how she's doing?

What should I do? Is it all my fault?

[Wondergirl]

Do you do things for him because you love him or just because you want to hear a "thank you" from him?

It sounds like you two are poison together.

[mmresd]

Wondergirl is right, it does seem "like you two are poison together", Personally, I would hate to be in your position because if I am doing something for someone I do expect at least a bit of gratitude and appreciation from my significant other. You don't mention whether this is how it has always been or if it has just started recently, but if it has been this way since the beginning unless you are of with being someone that doesn't appreciate you at all and doesn't even show a tiny drop of love to you then maybe this isn't the person who you want in your life. You might want to take a step back and reconsider this relationship since it seems that all is creating is stress in your life without any real type of benefiting you love life.

Good Luck,

Javi

[talaniman]

After 10 years and you are not happy, feel no appreciation, get no respect, don't you think its time to go? How much can you take?

[mapleleaf315]

I'm trying to understand what good you're getting out of being in this relationship. Relationships are work, but not this much work. You deserve to feel loved and to love for the right reasons. I would forget about whether you did the right thing or not, and focus on yourself and your own needs.

[youradvisor1]

Toxic city. Reading this made me really sad. Relationships should bring out the best in people. You sound very lonely and I don't blame you one bit. This is probably the last thing you want to hear but I would end it before you do get married and have to go through a hideous, unpleasant divorce. My best friend was engaged to a guy and during their engagement suffered serious doubt and despair yet she went through with it. Marriage does not morph your relationship into something that it already isn't. It just leads to emotional and financial destitute. Yeah, relationships take effort but this is WAY TOO MUCH work. I'll tell you something. I was in a six year relationship and I knew the demise was around the corner when he stopped responding to texts and returning calls. It's a sign from above. You are worth more and deserve better.