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Jimmy78 · Oct 21, 2010, 01:35 PM

Okay people on this board say that you should do 100% No Contact with your ex no matter what, now I have other post on here that talks about how my ex wanted nothing to do with me anymore and how she tried contacting me after I went no contact on her . Like I mentioned in another topic I wrote, my ex asked how I can treat her like she doesn't exist after months of NC. Now she had text me this 2 days in a row and I know I was suppose to stay no contact but all I did was tell her that I was just given her what she wanted which was to distance myself from her and have silence between us, leave her alone like she asked, and get out of her life like she told me to do. She in return text me back and took the truth of what she said to me which was get out of her life and what she did to me which was give me back my things which was very hurtful and said that she didn't want the silence between us that I was the one who wanted the way things are now, she told me that she said we can still talk and that I misunderstood what she was telling me to do. I never respond to that text, she sends me another one asking could we talk and be friends like she intended, I never answered. She sends me 2 more text early the next morning asking what I thought about her friendship offer, I never respond to her text. So as you can see after all of this texting I only gave her back what she told me to do and went right back to no contact with her. I just don't understand how she is going to come back at me months down the road and try to make me look like the bad guy when she was the one who hurt me. Was I wrong for breaking no contact this one time telling her that this was what she wanted, that reason that she feels like she doesn't exists anymore is her fault because I'm tired of being the fall guy. She's the one who selfishly broke up the relationship because she has to be in control and I have to do everything she tells me to do like I'm some robot. So because things didn't go her way she tells me to get out of her life. As good as I was to this girl I treated her better then her friends, family, and any other boyfriend she dated before me because I was to only person for the 2 years we were together that had her back.

Choo_ · Oct 21, 2010, 05:10 PM

Hey Jimmy87, I'm no expert on relationships, but as an outsider I think you're doing really well being able to resist contact her even though she's contacting you.
I'm going through a heartbreak myself as my ex recently ended things with me and told me he didn't want anything to do with me again and to leave him alone, which is what I'm doing, but it is really difficult. How long did you both have no contact for until she decided to text you?
The thing is, it's not fair that she said she wanted no contact, and now she expects you to just jump back in there like you're on a leash.
You need to be the one who takes control of this situation now even if you still love her, which you seem to be doing anyway.
Don't let your ego get the better of you in this, but take all the time you need to think because she has had her time to think too regardless of how you felt about everything, and if you want something to happen again then its your call when you decide you're ready to be friends.
As long as you take control of this and don't rush into things without thinking about how it would effect you both first, you'll be able to establish what you thinks best.

Homegirl 50 · Oct 21, 2010, 06:01 PM

You are doing OK. Just get back on the NC wagon. She got what she asked for and now you need to heal and move on.

Fr_Chuck · Oct 21, 2010, 06:24 PM

Yes, get back on NC, you told her, perhaps cleared your mind of things you wanted to say. So now don't let her drag you back into feelings and more.

Jimmy78 · Oct 21, 2010, 06:38 PM

I was on no contact for almost 3 months before she contacted me, as for the friend thing that can never happen. I refuse to let her have everything being the same without having to put out like a girlfriend, she will not have her cake and eat it to.

Jimmy78 · Oct 21, 2010, 06:40 PM

She is one of those people that say one thing and then turn around and try to play the victim role like someone is doing something to her.

Jimmy78 · Oct 21, 2010, 06:43 PM

The best thing about the whole situation is that good things have happened to me from the day she walk out of my life. They say you get blessings by the people you keep around you.

pandead · Oct 22, 2010, 01:47 AM

I'm impressed with your post and your comments are even better! You know where you're going, you know what you want and you see through her game. It's something a lot of people cannot see so quickly.

Just remember, if you don't want to break NC and be back to day 1, just IGNORE her.
Good luck, you are on the right way!

talaniman · Oct 22, 2010, 09:27 AM

Enjoy your freedom, and control of your own life, and let her get over herself. Stay NC!

Jimmy78 · Oct 22, 2010, 12:55 PM

Whatever games she played on other people she is not going to pay with me. My aunt once told me that adults don't play and she was right.

Jimmy78 · Oct 22, 2010, 01:03 PM

When times get hard I want to see if her family and friends help her out. They say people don't miss a good thing until its gone and she lost something that would have been good to her for life, this was her lost.