[werd19]

All right, so my ex and I had been dating for 20 months. We had a bad month last September, communication breakdowns, I wasn't always there for her because I would have plans or wanted to party. I never meant to do anything to hurt her, I just got a little too into my "guy time". I was insecure with my looks and my confidence was at an all time low. About 4 and a half weeks ago she stormed into my apt crying and said she was done. I didn't know what to do, so I went over to her house to try and talk to her. We talked and talked and finally made a list of things we both wanted to do to improve our communication and our needs in the relationship. We were doing everything on the list for a week and I wanted to know if she still loved me. She said she didn't know and it really hurt me, which led to her getting upset at me and asking me to leave. That night she told me the terrible "i need some space/time" thing. I focused a week on what my mistakes were and went about correcting them. I've applied to multiple jobs and haven't missed a class yet. Over a week ago, she Facebook messaged me that she didn't want to be in a relationship right now because she had too much stress on her life. She's a senior in college, and I'm a year older, yet still a junior. I think that she thinks that she just can't trust me to follow through with the plans I make. I dedicated my time to schedule my classes for the future, find a good job, and cut back my partying to one day a week. 5 days after the message she came over to grab a few clothes that she left at my place. I told her that I wanted to deeply apologize for any feeling of rejection I may have made her feel (God knows I felt it), I let her know that I respect her decision that she didn't want a relationship because we both needed to sort some things out, I want to respect her space, and I also asked if I could talk to her sometime, even if she only wants me as a friend. It's been 4 days since we did that, but 3 weeks since the "i need some time" text. I really want to ask her out for a quick lunch just to catch up. I don't want to exert any pressure on her and I want it to be a happy/funny/informative time, especially to let her know what I've been up to. Is this enough time? I'm not asking her for a relationship again, just for lunch. Did she break up with me through Facebook because her feelings for me are still too deep? She said at first that she didn't think we could be friends for a while, we were so in love... and I am still very much in love with her. She's my soulmate and I have no doubt about it. My confidence is high as it ever has been, I'm working out, eating healthy, and making great strides towards my future. She doesn't think I can change from a party boy, but I feel two years older after the past few weeks. I keep hearing to give her a few more weeks from some friends, but most of my girl friends are saying to try to text her soon, to let her know I am still interested in her... or at least that I'm thinking about her. Either way, I want to text her tomorrow about the lunch thing and I pray to God that she'll want to see me. There are guys circling her like hungry sharks right now and I want her to know that I'm still fighting for her. I'd give everything for her, but I know I have to focus on myself too. I have and I'm proud of myself. I just want to work my way back to having the person I care about most. It may take a while, but I'm willing to do it. Any insight would be appreciated. Thanks and God bless.

[dhuber]

It soounds like you do genuinely want to be with her so what are you waiting for. I see people say "I am not going to call her because it's too soon" Who made that rule, lonely people I guess. I'm glad you realized that women don't want party boys for a relationship. There for a quick romp in the hay. Call her and tell her what you want. But then you have to act on it, including moving on. If she's not receptive, then you know to move on. You both have to be on the same place at the same time. Hopefully your changes have not been a way to get her back. You need to realize that women need attention, dedicational and trust. Waiting will only allow her to meet somebody and for you to obsess some more. Make sure this time you meet on what each other expects and will put up with. There are other women out there fornon party boys if she's not ready

[werd19]

Thanks, I actually texted her today and wanted to see if she wanted to grab some lunch next week. She agreed and I'm really excited, I feel like I have an extra spring in my step too. I'm proud of what I'm accomplishing and I want her to know how well I'm doing. At the same time, I'm going to be confident, cool, funny... anything to make her realize that I am the guy for her. I'm going to keep the lunch/catch-up time short, so hopefully when I say I have to go and ask her if we can meet again soon to talk some more, she'll be interested. That whole "one month of no contact" stuff is stupid. If I didn't show her that I'm genuinely still interested in her, she would probably erase me from her life. Thanks again! We'll see how the lunch date goes.

[renda_shikor]

:(