[lostluv]

We share a two years of relationship,but it was always a secret one.None of his , as well as my friends and family know that we are dating each other.He always keep telling me, that he cannot commit anything for future, but I never trusted his words ,because I trusted his eyes, and warmness when he was with me.His words never matched his expressions.But on same time I tried more than 100 times to detach from him, but some or the other thing will happen and again we were close!! In two years of relationship, I find him to be a sensitive, caring man.I can live my whole life with , without any name for relationship.He was /is standing beside me from past two years in all my good bad times! Even I can't resist him!! But , the types of society we live we have to get married and move ahead.We both are on the perfect age of getting married.I am not able to move ahead.I can imagine anyone else in his place in my life.In two years, we had been intimate with each other several times.Those moments are the best moments of my life.My life is impossible without him.But he is going.He never answers any of my questions! I don't want to lose him.I will go mad without him.Still I know , I have lost him almost!.

[answerme_tender]

Im sorry your going through just emotional heart break. Most of us on this site have experienced this loss. You need to give yourself time to mourn and then pick up the pieces and move on with your life.
However I would not wait for him to call it quits, you need to stand up as a mature woman and do that yourself, for your own sanity.
He has been up front from the very beginning, telling you he would NEVER commit, that is when you should have walked away, but you didn't for whatever reason. Even after 2years of giving this man everything you posssibly can, he will still no commit. You know that he is going to walk away. Why are you waiting for him?
Even if it's the very last thing he ever experiences from this relationship. Let it be you ending this affair. Show him that even if he doesn't value your feelings and future, that YOU do!! This will be hard, but at least you will not walk away empty handed. You will have gained your PRIDE back!!

I wish you luck

[Dstny618]

As much as you are hurting right now, you can't spend your life with someone who just doesn't feel the same way. And you can not make someone feel for you in a way that you might feel for them. You are torturing yourself by staying in this situation and hoping that by some miracle things will change. You have to be the one to stand up for yourself.

At this moment in time it may seem as if he is the only one for you. But I promise... the one for you will not make you feel the hurt that you are feeling with this man and as happy as you think you are or have been with him will be tremendously outweighed when you finally find the one. You need someone that will love you for who you are and respect your feelings enough to at least let you know where things stand when you question them. You deserve better, and it's out there but you have to get away from this before you can find it. Yes, it hurts but the pain will not last forever. The longer you let him do this to you, the harder it will be to heal when things do come to an end.

[lostluv]

Comment on Dstny618's post
Thanks dear!. but you know, I'm feeling helpless and lost.my life is revolving around him.. and I don't find life beyond him.For me he is the one who compliments me the best.And he all these things well.I don't know what is stopping him to coming to me.

Comment on answerme_tender's post
He is feared, because he had a very bad past.I am just victim of his past and I have told him this.I wish your luck works for me, and he comes back.. and he is my Pride.. In past two years, he respected me for everything.. hope my god is listening to me.

[answerme_tender]

We all live our lives in hope that we will find that one that we can love and most importantly will love us back. That love must be given freely and received by both parties equally. If only one is giving and one taking, it is not a relationship, it's a mockery.
I know you love him, and I do believe God is listening, however his answer may not be the one your wanting! I have always thought God may be like most parents. He gave us lesson,morals,values to grow up and learn by,but once we reach adulthood we have to make the choice to either live by those or not. We also have to live with the consequences for not following those lessons. Our parents don't always choose to fix the messes we get into, they might just let us sink or swim all on our own.
My question aren't you tired of treading water yet? You might want to get some counceling for this. This councelor will lesson and help you without judgement. You already know it does help to just talk about the sadness and depression your going through. Even talking to a spiritual leader might help. Get out with friends, family. I went back to college to help take my mind off my sorrow.
Doing something is better then nothing.

[talaniman]

Comment on Dstny618's post
Thanks dear!. but you know, I'm feeling helpless and lost.my life is revolving around him.. and I don't find life beyond him.For me he is the one who compliments me the best.And he all these things well.I don't know what is stopping him to coming to me.

Comment on answerme_tender's post
He is feared, because he had a very bad past.I am just victim of his past and I have told him this.I wish your luck works for me, and he comes back.. and he is my Pride.. In past two years, he respected me for everything.. hope my god is listening to me.

You have already wasted 2 years on this guy, and he still hasn't gotten committed to you despite his awful past. Maybe its time to stop revolving your whole world in a guy who keeps you secret on the side and find out what HE is really hiding you from. It might be an eye opener enough for you to get out of false hope, wishful thing, and fantasy, that keeps you from wasting any more of your time heart and soul for a fellow that keeps you as a big secret from the rest of reality, and his life.

Its a big red flag when honesty is compromised for secrecy.

[answerme_tender]

I agree Talaniman---more then likely this guy is already married.

[lostluv]

"Consider yesterday's night as exception.Don't want to hurt u again and again and again.It hurt me as well to see u in that state.When I know it will not happen I should just quit and let u know.I wanna do the same. I have no rights to keep playing with your emotions.I am sorry.*** forget me and get on with ur life, if not just accept my status as a friend.Nothing more is possible.Acceptance will bring u peace.To me as well.I like u a lot.Perhaps u r the most caring person I could ever get.And the person who loves me the most.But irony of my life, I don't want anything.Just want to explore the world.Just want to be free.Hope u understand.Sorry if you can ever forgive me....
I know what I am losing.But sometimes when a glass is covered or full, everything poured in it will spill.However it might be, that's the case of my life.Don't want to say much.U understand me without my saying anything.The time spent with you was amongst the best times of my life.U will remain part of me somewhere in me throughout my life.I can never forget you.I never will.Wish u all the happiness the world can possible shower on anyone.May u get my share of happiness as well .The best.I will miss u...Godspeed..."

These were his last words to me.and after this I have start loving and respecting him more.Even if he is not with me, I can live my whole life with these words.. life long.. without any grudges.. but the most strange part is my inner voice is still not allowing me to lose the hope.. I don't know what to do...