[kslukes]

I was going through a lot of family problems, I don't really open up that easily, and I thought it was for the best. But ever since then, I've passed up two guys because I realized that I still love him. I thought I had already moved on but recently, I had to tell a guy friend that I didn't want to go out with him. And the reason is that I realized I'm still not over my ex. We had so many memories together and he was always there for me. I feel like I gave him the best of me and now there are only leftovers to give to the next guy and I can't even do that.. Two weeks ago, it was my birthday. I was supposed to go to dinner with my family but when I showed up, it was my ex with roses. We had dinner, went to see a movie, and I thanked him. It just brought all the feelings back again. When I got home, I messaged him on Facebook saying that I enjoyed the date. He replied saying it was fun. When I tried a little flirting in the next message, he didn't answer back. He already read it but didn't reply. I found out yesterday that he likes another girl a lot and I feel like I've been led on. Why would he agree to take me to dinner and give me flowers when he liked another girl? My mom had asked him if he was still interested in me and he told her he was and he agreed to go to dinner with me and she gave him the idea to get me flowers. That's not quite fair because he wouldn't tell my mom he didn't like me if that was the truth since she's my mom. He's not going to say, "No, I don't like your daughter anymore." And the flowers mean less to me now because it wasn't even his idea. It was my mom's. Now, I don't know what to do. I just want him back but I don't think he feels the same way. We don't really talk much anymore but we run into each other everyday and every now and then he'll make small talk or ask when we're going to hang out. And last night, we talked for the longest time but I think that's just going to land me in the friend-zone. He posted on a friend's wall that he liked the other girl on every day that ends with 'y'. That's a lot. What should I do to get him to focus on me instead of her?

[LoveStoned]

Since you are the one who broke up with him, he's probably making sure he is not missing out on anything by seeing other people. Don't put pressure on him... just be an available friend at the most... If you feel that he is toying with your emotions, I would cut all contact, because an ex is an ex for a reason as well.

[I wish]

It's possible that he likes someone else, since he's single, it's fair game.

Why are you using Facebook messages, when you can pick up the phone and call him?

If you want him back, then you need to let him know how you feel, IN PERSON. Use the phone to call him to come out so that you can tell him.

But once you tell him, it's up to him whether he wants you back or not. You're the one who broke up with him, so as far as he's concerned, you're the one who didn't want him. Can you really blame him?

[kslukes]

Comment on I wish's post
I like to do things in person too, so I'll able to read his facial reactions and tone of voice but I need to find a subtle way to trade numbers. I know his number but ever since the break up, I've gotten a new number and he hasn't asked for it.

That's why I need to find an opportunity to do exactly that. Yes, I have his number and I could call first. I know this sounds typical, but I don't want to call him out of nowhere when we've just been talking again recently. Wouldn't that make me

Seem like I'm coming on too strong or that it's extremely obvious I want him back? I don't know.. Thanks for your advice.

I understand I was the one who hurt him first by breaking up with him. I feel that lately he's been initiating contact because a lot can happen in a year. People change, attitudes change. I wasn't aware of it but he told me I seemed a lot cooler and he wanted to hang out with me. The thing that gets me is, is he stringing me along? He likes one girl but he goes on a date with me. I don't want to be too much of a friend to him because what if I'm too far in the friend-zone and he ends up dating her? That's a lose situation for me. I do regret my decision and we could've worked it out, like he said. It was stupid. And now, all I'm asking is for a sign or an opportunity and another chance to show him I've learned from my mistakes. I need some guidance instead of that side of my brain that'll butt in and start being overdramatic like I was last year..

[talaniman]

I think you think about this, before you get carried away again, as he seems to be going after another girl, and may have taken you out on your birthday as a favor to your mom. Don't assume or presume. Get facts.

[I wish]

Whether he's going for this other girl or not isn't your concern. Do you really expect him to stay single forever and just pine after you when you're the one who broke up with him? If it's not this girl, it could be another girl.

The way I see it is, you're the one who wants him back. As far as he's concerned, he believes that you don't want him back, so he's trying to move on with his life.

Therefore, if you want him back, you let him know and you let him decide what to do next. But if he's not aware of your feelings for him, then how can he lead you on? Again, as far as he's concerned, you're not interested in him.