[hckymorty17]

Ok, so I have had my girlfriend since my junior year in high school and I am a year above her. She has always meant the world to me and I could easily see myself with her forever. When I came to college as a freshman and she was still a senior, it was difficult at first but I realized that she was worth sticking with. So now I'm committed to her and everything and my freshman year goes great. I don't make her worry and visit frequently. Now it is my sophomore year, her freshman. We are going to different schools which I have always thought was a good thing, so we wouldn't just always hang out with each other. Our schools are only an hour away, too. So anyway, she came into school wanting to get the full college experience, and everybody knows that is not possible with a boyfriend. But we decided to stay together because we both think we're perfect together. So she has been at school, going out partying, making friends and all and that's all great. I'm happy for her. But just recently she keeps bringing up that she doesn't know what to do because she hasn't known anything else besides dating me for so long. Just last week, I find out that she got super drunk and slept in some guys bed. She claims it was because she couldn't make it back to her room and I want to believe her. But then she hears a rumor that he fingered her. She says the more she thought about it, the more she thinks it might be true. She feels horrible about everything and tells me she just wants to be the perfect girlfriend now and that she got her college experience out of her system. I have no idea what to do.. Do I break up with her or give her another chance ? Is it possible for her to earn my trust back only seeing me a couple days every two weeks?. I need some serious help. Ive always handled situations fairly well but this one has got me stumped.

[kpg0001]

You are on a slippery slope and at this point I'm sure it's hard to understand why this happened. Starting college can be stressful and on a relationship and in some cases lead to the end of it. I've heard this same story over and over, wanting the "college experience". People take this with a grain of salt but really it's a pretty profound idea when in a relationship because the "college experience" is getting wasted and hooking up with strangers(for the most part). In essence, it means being able to do solely what you want to do without consideration of others(especially those who put boundaries on the person). I was dating a girl when I went off to college, we both are the same age but went to different colleges far apart and I broke up with her because I knew the relationship wouldn't be able to handle the situation. Funny thing is we go to the same university now and have been dating for almost three years. My advice would be to take a break. You seem to be the one committed to the relationship and it's not fair to you if she doesn't share the same commitment. Even though she said she wants to be the perfect girlfriend now, you have to understand that she knows she did something awful to you and is trying to "save her ***"(maybe harshly put). Of course she is going to try to comfort you, she did something wrong. In my opinion you should take some time off and let her find what she really wants and you yourself should do the same. Unfaithfulness is a serious issue in a relationship and should not be blown off, in fact, there is no room for it at all. Let her know how you feel and that those actions cannot exist if she wants to continue the relationship in the future. It's time for a break to clear your mind!

[answerme_tender]

She is wanting to experience the college life. To go out partying and dating around. I agree that you need to give your relationship a break. This gives you both time to come to decisions. Her to see if she is really committed to you even surrounded by the college life style. Also you need to have the chance to see if you can forgive, move past this, and want to the relationship. This might also give you a chance to experience the college life style for awhile.
This is just a different perspective, you are both young, why are you so willing and also expecting to give up experiencing what college life may have to offer by being in a committed relationship. Why can't you just date, keep the friendship, but allow each other some freedom to grow, without the restriction of worry or guilt from each other. Don't limit yourself from growth of the unknown, by sticking with comfort.

[ventnakid]

Sometimes its hard to let go young boy. The right thing to do maybe harder to deal with emotionally and the right thing to do may not be so clear. However, you cannot keep yourself on a limbo of emotions. A decision must be made so that you can react to the outcome and move on from the issue. In the end, only you can know what's right. You must know that no matter what emotions you feel you must do what is better for you and only you, its not being selfish it is having self respect and self worth. You should value yourself in high regards to know that you will be successful no matter who you surround yourself with. If someone around you is dragging you down then maybe you should let go. Living in a house with roomates can sometimes drag me down but other times I can't see myself anywhere else so I know exactly where the confusion comes in. In the end you have to think about yourself and what is best for you not the other person. You're a good boy who doesn't deserve what has happened to you, especially when the person you're dealing with is just as confused about themselves as a person as you are confused about your relationship together.