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QLD01 · Oct 12, 2010, 08:10 PM

My girlfriend of 8 months told me about 5 days ago that she wanted to take a week to figure out if she still loved me, she said that she still cares deeply for me but she just needs the time to figure this out. This was a massive shock because I didn't think anything was wrong, of course we have argued before but it always worked out after talking about it. We haven't been dating for a long time but the relationship moved fast and after 6 months we were basically living together, I do think we moved to fast and I'm happy for her to go and live where she used to if that would help. Of course I texted her the next day saying how sorry I was for the mistakes I had made and I asked her to talk to me to try and fix this, I didn't get a reply. So after not hearing from her for another 2 days I tried to ring her, she picked up but she said that she didn't want to talk yet becausee she still was confused, I asked her if she still cared about me and she said yes she does but she still didn't know if she loved me or not. I asked if we could meet up and talk this out but she said no she wasn't ready, so I asked if I should move on... She hesitated and said yes, but I really don't want to move on yet I want to break up face to face so that I can tell her how I want to change, not just for her but also for myself. I made my mistakes by not listening to her during our previous arguments and I am paying for them now. I told her that I wouldn't try to make contact with her until after she has had her week but I don't know if she will contact me to try and talk. I just don't know what to do

Devorameira · Oct 13, 2010, 06:54 AM

She's told you she doesn't think she loves you and has told you to move on. How much clearer can it be?

I'd suggest you take her seriously and stop contacting her.

answerme_tender · Oct 13, 2010, 07:55 AM

Why would you need to change? You haven't mistreated her, cheated,etc. For whatever reason she doesn't want to continue this relationship. Those are her feelings, you can't CHANGE those.
You are an individual with your own qualities, why the heck would you change for someone who doesn't appreciate those. Its time to move on and find a woman who will want the whole package you have to give!
Don't try and have any contact with her, it will just make you appear to be begging. She doesn't feel the need to give you a reason for this breakup face to face, so you can do nothing more then accept that fact.

I wish · Oct 13, 2010, 09:46 AM

Sounds more like she's letting you down easy. She's slowly cutting you out. If she wanted to make this relationship work, she wouldn't leave you hanging out to dry wondering how long you should wait.

Though it's probably not easy for you to do 100% no contact yet, you have to realize that you already told her that you want her back, so the ball is on her side of the court if she wants to work it out with you. Pushing her to talk to you won't make a difference. If she wanted to talk, she would find a way to contact you. You already did your part in trying to find her. If she said to leave her alone, then leave her alone.