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    KEC87's Avatar
    KEC87 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 30, 2010, 09:35 PM
    Boyfriend says one thing, does another
    My boyfriend often says one thing and does another. He also seems to have double standards and doesn't ever see himself as doing something wrong. My boyfriend says that I am the one who can do no wrong. Is it me or him? When we argue or even just try to have a discussion he always thinks I am trying to fight, that I am trying to provoke him. Like I enjoy it. He will tell me he is finished with the conversation, even we I swear all I want to do is talk something out. He will totally cut me off, I can't say anything to keep him in the conversation... because to him I am just trying to fight. What is the deal?
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #2

    Sep 30, 2010, 10:03 PM
    Going online to ask 'is it me or him' is like asking if we think you are a good driver or if we like your blue top or green one. We aren't there. We can't judge, especially from generalities and he said/she said. Your problems are very common, and one person often feels like the 'communicator' while the other clams up and thinks any further discussion is a fight. On the other hand, sometimes it is just a prolonged argument or nit picking. Too hard to judge. You have to decide if a reticent kind of guy is your cup of tea or not. I doubt that either one of you is going to have a sudden change of personality.
    That's not even addressing the rather vague 'double standard' and 'says one thing and does another.' Try to be specific.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Oct 1, 2010, 07:24 AM

    Sometimes we are attracted to people we don't mix well with, as the styles, and personalities just don't match that well. Its called being incompatible, it happens, and yes its frustrating over time, no matter how intense the attraction was at the beginning.

    This doesn't sound like fun for either one of you. Nobody is really to blame, its just a bad mix.

    How old are you both?

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