[Kaismom]

I have a 4 year old son. His father hasn't seen him in over 2 1/2 years. I live in PA, he lives in OH. He has never sent anything for x-mas or b-days. He used to call once every few months, then it turned into just texting me asking how my son is & what he was doing. I would answer him and that would be the end of the conversation. I do get child support from his wages, and he was furious when I filed. He is now married with a new child, along with 2 other children from a previous marriage that he does not see or contact. Him & his wife think I should just let him come pick up my son & take him back to Ohio for a visit, which is not going to happen. I do have a boyfriend who I plan on marrying, and he has gladly stepped up as my sons father. I was only engaged to my sons father, we were never married. Should I look into terminating his rights, or just full custody with supervised visits if he should ever want to visit?

[JudyKayTee]

You have no grounds to terminate the father's rights. He supports his child as required by law. There is no law (and you cannot force him) that says he has to be a good father or, for that matter, visit with the child.

Is there a visitation order? If so, you have to comply. If not and he wants to take the child, you don't want him to, he will have to go to Court and request visitation. If you can prove he is a danger to the child in some respect you can request and have supervised visitation granted. If he is not a danger, then it is at the Court's discretion. As the father he is entitled to time with the child.

If you marry your boyfriend, are in a stable marriage for a period and the father is willing to sign the legal papers your husband can adopt the child and accept all financial responsibility for him.

[ScottGem]

Since, there is a support order, there was probably a custody hearing. What custody was ordered? Was anything established about visitation at the time? Even if it wasn't, I would suggest that you agree to the visit. But that you put it in writing when the child will be returned. The reason I say this is because, if he goes to court and asks for visitation and he shows you refused a reasonable request he is likely to get much more extensive visitation.

If your boyfriends wants to adopt after you are married, the father will have to agree to it. He may agree since it will mean the end of his support obligation or he may not.

But I don't see any grounds for terminating his rights or even for supervised visits.

[Kaismom]

There is no custody agreement, he didn't even show up to the child support hearing. I have always told him he is more than welcome to come here & visit anytime. They have no father-son relationship, my son refers to him by his first name(by his choice). His wife has gotten physical with me in front of my son, and I also have a recorded death threat from him, that I did file a police report for. He also has a history of drug use. I do not trust either of them to just let my son go 2 1/2 hours away to visit people he doesn't know.

[ScottGem]

That does out a different spin on things. However, absent a s custody order, then you have joint legal custody with primary physical custody.

The drug use and threats would probably get supervised visits initially. But not for long.