[Pensive1]

Hello everyone. I've been reading the blogs on the internet for hours now, deciding if what I'm going through is an over reaction, or an unfortunate byproduct of my former future wife's mishap. So, would appreciate everyone's responses.

So, cindy (not her name obviously) is invited to my friend's wife's baby shower today (saturday). I'm happy since cindy is being accepted into the clan. We also work together. On Friday, she's quite upset since half of our Saturday will be lost to this baby shower. I empathise and drive her to baby'srus, get a car charger and start working as she drives to the baby shower. Crazy, I know. Anyway, I drop her off and say hi to the mom-to-be, and the fiancé of my old friend. Long story short, I leave, my girlfriend starts drunk texting me (misspelled words) as I'm working at the office, letting me know that the girl I met is hitting on her and grabbing her ***, and that the're having "watermelon martinis". I tell her to PLEASE don't drink so much. She calls me 3 hours later, wanting me to pick her up. It takes me 45 minutes to get there and when I got there, she wasn't picking up the phone. After waiting 10 minutes, I walked to the door, saw some guy shoes (thought it was an all girls party), then a guy opens the door! He says "well, my name is ajsfoivnasvoiunasoifn and i'm the last guy here!" who the ****ed cared, but now I was concerned... thought it was an all girl party. Anyway, I can't find cindy, but saw the future mom. She said cindy had too much to drink and is sleeping upstairs. We walk upstairs, she opens the door and we see my girlfriend, with her legs open at her baby shower. The mom to be walks away, embarrassed as ****. I asked what happened, and she said "i don't know what THEY were doing". I said: "THEY???" who's they? She walked away, I was confused and though my girl was playing with herself. Stupid me... I opened the door anyway and saw the girl I saw earlier, on top of my girl, wiping her lips. Cindy was quiet. I asked "whats going on? what's going on?" she said nothing, then said: "we were just kissing. are you upset? are you upset?" laughing. I asked what her husband's name was, which was the time I learned that this is the same guy who's to be mom's husband is spending time with... in vegas!

Long story short, I feel like ****. My girl kissed others in front of me, but tonight, I wasn't there! You know... its different. Sexy when I'm there, suspicious when I'm outside waiting to pick her up from a baby shower.

My boy, the to be mom's husband calls from the licking girl's husband's house to see what's going on. He had no idea, but tried to calm me down. He didn't know what he would do if it was his wife. THEN... I ASKED... can I speak with the husband of the culprit... and he let me.

So, now, I've told him what happened tonight. He said he was thrown "too much in a short period of time, and he can't say anything at the present time." I apologized for ****ing up his night, just as much as my night was ****ed.

Sounds like a script... yeah! True - MOTHER ****ING YES. It just happened. You don't trust me, respond and you'll hear from me now.

[Pensive1]

My initial response: I wasn't there, so that's definitely not cool. Next, she didn't admit it, and kept pretending she was throwing up and wasn't. So am I exaggerating, maybe. Do I have a right - yes. Have I seen her kiss another girl - yes. Why am I upset: I wasn't there - and she looked guilty. So - what would you do?

[azif]

Your post is hard to follow.

I'm not sure what expectations you have of each other in your relationship
But I would feel disrespected if it happened to me

If she is also being dishonest about it even happening then that's another red flag.

[ScottGem]

I agree, your post is extremely hard to follow. I'm totally not sure what happened, but it sounds like your girl had too much to drink and I would just let it go at that.

[Cat1864]

First thing is to calm down and get your thoughts organized.

I find your upset at her maybe kissing another girl (I am not positive you know what happened) a bit strange after you seem to have dismissed her 'drunk texting' for three hours until she called asking for a ride. It seems to me that your asking her not to drink too much came too late and I think you know it.

Once both of you are able to think straight and not turn a discussion in to an argument/fight, talk with her about boundaries and set them together.

It seems to me that she was not happy about going and probably felt out of place and had something to drink without eating if the texting started as soon as it sounds like it did. I don't think she intentionally got drunk or did anything and I do think you ignored a warning. Let this incident become a lesson and try not to repeat what happened.

[eightzeros]

I would say that you both like to get attention. That is why there was unnecessary calling, texting, emotions, interpretation and analysis.

Why not calm down & then afterwards talk to her? You both need to learn not to create a situation & then how to solve one.