[yordy]

I have been with my ex for about 13 years and we have two beautiful children together. We recently split up and I would like with all my heart to be with him again as a family.

Please help me.

What do I do?

[Wildcat21]

You never said why you broke up. 13 years is a long time - lots of resentment can be built up... you take people for granted big time. Need more info before we proceed.

+ there CAN NOT be any abuse - verbal or physical, no alcohol or drugs, NO CHEATING.

+ AND THIS IS A HUGE ONE I ALWAYS FORGET - can you two communicate?? Some people just can't. It's so dam important and I always forget this...

Some people JUST Won't LISTEN and talk over the other person. Some people are just too stubborn.

Do you two REALLY listen to each other?? I doubt it.

[Nosnosna]

First of all, identify the reasons you're no longer together. Address what you can about yourself on that, and use the break up as an opportunity for personal growth.

Second, give your ex some space for a while. Sometimes, the biggest thing keeping people apart is that they don't know that they'll be unhappy if they're truly apart. Give her a chance to grow as well.

Third, talk to your ex about it... don't beg, don't threaten, nothing like that, just use it as a way of identifying what the issues are between you and letting the other person know that you would like to work through the issues.

Fourth, recognize for yourself that there's a chance that you won't be able to get back together... sometimes it just doesn't work out. Come to terms with the fact that you may not be together as a family again.

Fifth, and most importantly, be there for your kids. They're more important than you in this. Make sure they know it's not their fault or anything like that, and reinforce that both of their parents love them very much. Don't vilify your ex if things don't work out, and don't use them to try to guilt him back.

Good luck

[tamed]

That depends on why you guys split up in the first place

[Geoffersonairplane]

I ditto all the other posts, you need to explain why you both came to split up and the circumstances that surrounded the split. I think Wildcat speaks wise words in his response but more info from you is needed to give more insight.