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    Louise_Michelle's Avatar
    Louise_Michelle Posts: 21, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 7, 2010, 01:00 PM
    When I first got with my boyfriend he could never stay hard was it me?
    My boyfriend and I started dating and about a week into the relationship tried to have sex but he couldn't stay hard, but like 20 minutes later we were laying on my bed and he was picking on me and he was hard as a rock, is it me am I doing something wrong?

    We are living at my boyfriends parents so we can save up for our own place, but we haven't had sex in 7 months and it sucks and I don't know what to do he says he doesn't want to cause its not his house its someone else but yet he still wants me to go down on him or give him a hand job but he won't do anything to me unless he has been drinking I don't understand it I need help!!
    adam_89's Avatar
    adam_89 Posts: 1,866, Reputation: 280
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    #2

    Sep 7, 2010, 01:08 PM

    Maybe he feel very uncomfortable doing it while they are around or in the house. Maybe he is afraid of getting caught, but thinks he can cover up fooling around. On a second note, does he do anything for you?
    Louise_Michelle's Avatar
    Louise_Michelle Posts: 21, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Sep 7, 2010, 01:10 PM

    No, only when he has been drinking and still then not really at all.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #4

    Sep 7, 2010, 01:11 PM

    That is messed up. He's getting his, you're giving it to him. Stop doing that. Maybe he will either move sooner or he'll start doing something for you.
    He would not get another hand or blow job from me. That is just selfish.
    Louise_Michelle's Avatar
    Louise_Michelle Posts: 21, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Sep 7, 2010, 01:18 PM

    I feel like its me, like he isn't as in to me or he doesn't like having sex with me or something like that, It bothers me so bad!
    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
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    #6

    Sep 7, 2010, 01:20 PM

    Hello L,

    Or, the next time he wants to fool around, you tell him to give you oral first... twice, before he gets his.
    adam_89's Avatar
    adam_89 Posts: 1,866, Reputation: 280
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    #7

    Sep 7, 2010, 01:27 PM

    He seems like he is being selfish to me. It doesn't sound like it is you. Like said above, next time, ask for something for you. If he does it, keep that in mind for the future times. If he doesn't then you know he is just wanting to get his and leaving you out,
    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
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    #8

    Sep 7, 2010, 01:28 PM

    Hello,

    I'm trying to understand your question better.

    So you two just started dating. Ok I got that.

    How many times has this happened? Just the one time?

    Also, what do you mean by picking on you?
    Louise_Michelle's Avatar
    Louise_Michelle Posts: 21, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Sep 7, 2010, 01:28 PM
    Why did my boyfriend change so much after we had sex for the first time?
    When the boyfriend and I first got together he did anything and everything for me,told me I was beautiful, he cuddled with me all night, then after we had sex the first time he started being rude doesn't ever want to do anything with me or for me, its all about his friends when we go out if he gets drunk he calles me names and it was never like this till we had sex for the first time I'm not sure what I did or why he is like this?
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #10

    Sep 7, 2010, 01:33 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Louise_Michelle View Post
    I feel like its me, like he isnt as in to me or he doesn't like having sex with me or something like that, It bothers me so bad!
    If it bothers you then say something. Don't keep going down on him.
    I'm inclined to think he's either gotten lazy or he's getting it elsewhere. But if you are going to stay with him, you'd better start speaking up for yourself. Don't let him use you for a sex toy.
    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
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    #11

    Sep 7, 2010, 01:33 PM

    Hello Louise,

    Just by reading your other threads, I have come to the conclusion that your boyfriend is a very selfish little boy, who is a waste of your time.

    If I were you, I would move on to bigger and better things.

    ... just saying
    krynten's Avatar
    krynten Posts: 5, Reputation: 3
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    #12

    Sep 7, 2010, 01:36 PM
    Sounds like he got what he wanted and now he's done :(
    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
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    #13

    Sep 7, 2010, 01:36 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Louise_Michelle View Post
    alot, like tickling me or something like that
    That could be away that he gets arroused.
    Louise_Michelle's Avatar
    Louise_Michelle Posts: 21, Reputation: 1
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    #14

    Sep 7, 2010, 01:42 PM

    OK, we got drunk together and tried to have sex but he couldn't get hard so we just went back to drinking then after a few hours I got a little to drunk and ended up getting sick and he laid there with me for like an hour helping me and just holding me and got hard then, why when I'm getting sick instead of laying naked right in front of him?
    krynten's Avatar
    krynten Posts: 5, Reputation: 3
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    #15

    Sep 7, 2010, 01:44 PM
    A lot of people are uncomfortable with doing that in their parents house, BUT in your boyfriends case. Sounds like he's willing to break his own rules when he wants something. That's extremely selfish. You need to stand up for yourself. That rule needs to go both ways, If he's not comfortable he shouldn't be asking you for anything sexual at all. But if he is OK with it tell him you have your needs to, it's not fair that just his needs get fulfilled whenever he decides it's OK. Next time he asks, Tell him no way unless he's willing to take care of you too.
    Louise_Michelle's Avatar
    Louise_Michelle Posts: 21, Reputation: 1
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    #16

    Sep 7, 2010, 02:06 PM
    Do you think he cheated on me?
    I was living with one of my best friends and he moved in with me, and like after a week of him living with me, my mom was having some problems so I went to stay with her and help her out for a week and when I got back there was a riped up condom wrapper under my bed and her dirty thong behind my dresser, he blammed it on her kids but I mean they did get in to everything, and he talked to me every night and he was the one that paid to come get me 5 hours away. One of his bestfriends is also my best friends I met my boyfriend through him and he told me he never has so I'm not really sure what to think any help?!
    Just Dahlia's Avatar
    Just Dahlia Posts: 2,155, Reputation: 445
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    #17

    Sep 7, 2010, 02:10 PM

    With what you had to go on, my gut feeling was yes, but then there are the children.
    Which brings to mind that if your children are allowed to mess with dirty condoms and dirty underwear you need a better sitter and cleaner friends. That's just disgusting:eek:
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #18

    Sep 7, 2010, 02:20 PM

    Hate to say this but, you have given your heart to a very selfish dysfunctional drunk who gets off on your discomfort, and humiliation. Its not you, but the guy you have chosen to be with. You must be pretty young to accept this kind of behavior, and put up with this very unhealthy situation.

    If you stay, expect him to act the same way, and worse, and use you for more of the same.

    Get out while you can, or keep suffering, and that would be YOUR fault, not HIS! They can be so nice until they get what they want, and your hooked, then things change quickly. Now you know, so do something about it like leave.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #19

    Sep 7, 2010, 02:26 PM
    More of the story? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...th-505595.html

    How long ago did this happen?

    IF you think he cheated on you, why did you move into his parent's home with him?

    Something isn't adding up and I hope it is just the time-line.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #20

    Sep 7, 2010, 02:35 PM

    Any additional post will be deleted and if its about the same drunk who can't keep it up, stay with this thread instead of starting a new one. We are already confused enough

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