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lostandbroken · Aug 29, 2010, 11:25 PM

Ok here's the thing, My ex girlfriend broke up with me by telling everyone and our mutual friends its over, then when I ask about it for my confirmation she block and ignore me, and when she finally did start to talk to me again I ask her to give me another chance she said she doesn't know but somehow in the end she agreed to try again, and then I found out from this guy who likes her, as he told me he was going to pursue her, she told him that she doesn't think there any future with us, and this was back up by my friend as well. So I turn around and told her I'll give her time to figure hings out and she agreed to this. But then she started to treat me like she hates me, what I ever I say or do she will twist it, in the end I left, I couldn't handle it. Not long after I did I caught up with the guy that likes her and he told me that they are dating now. I was broken but kept it cool with him as I realize she wasn't mine anymore and when I did talk to her and told her about the conversation I had with him, she said he was a liar and they are not together or dating. But I found out two days ago there was something going on, Ok I was upset and in the game we played I married someone but its friendship not else as I know I'm not ready for another relationship. I haven't talk to her in a couple of days now and I'm planning of cutting all my ties with her, I found out the online game we used to play together she block me, but I'm still in her msn except she won't let me see her status messages and all that and she is also on my Facebook. I have block and deleted her, I'm trying to move on I am hurt for the fact not once she told me the truth, I guess I didn't mean anything to her for her treat me this way. I still love her but I know there is not chance of getting her back she moved on already, so I just want to find my own closure now and when I think I'm finally over her I still feel sad at other days. I want to know have I done the right thing to get over her, because I feel I haven't and I'm missing something, please help me to move on, I hate the place I am in right now, and I want to forget she ever existed in my life at all now. I wanted her to be honest with me, but she never did and now I'm picking up the pieces and try to heal, I know there is someone out there for me but right now I need advice to how I can stop thinking or being sad whenever she comes in my mind.

411Help · Aug 30, 2010, 12:30 AM

Consider this a blessing in disguise.

She broke up with you through word of mouth, ignored you, and then proceeded to consider you as an option in her life, not a priority. She then proceeds to tell another guy that she doesn't see a future with you.. Am I missing something here? Why didn't you can her a long time ago?

NO Contact is the way to go. Cut her off completely. No text messaging, no Facebook stalking, no phone calls, no emails, NOTHING.

Unfortunately, there's no magic pill. It takes time, and usually.. A LONG time to get over a loved one. We've all been there at one point or another.. It's just a matter of surrounding yourself with positive people and positive things in your life. The pain slowly fades. It's not a sprint, it's an ultra-marathon.

Once you've realized how great of a life you made for yourself, you won't want her back. You'll realize that love is about mutual respect, trust, and care.

Hang in there.

By the way,

(How old are you two?)

lostandbroken · Aug 30, 2010, 02:27 AM

Hi, thanks I'm not asking of a easy fix just want to get on with my life and stop her taking over it. I didn't let let her go because I thought she was worth fighting for, she's the one but I guess I was wrong in believing that. She's 26 and I am 31. I thought we are mature enough to talk it out but I guess weren't. To make it worse we're friends for over 3 years before we decided to take it to the next level.

Divstar · Aug 30, 2010, 02:55 AM

Time to do some positive things with yourself.
Join the gym if you haven't, take up some extra hobbies to fill your now extra free time. This girl is not someone you want to spend more time with, she's trash and will treat you like crap if you continue to allow her to.

Getting over someone takes a LONG time. Months and months, but if you continue to do positive things with your life you can turn this into one of the best things that ever happened to you.

lamp_post · Aug 30, 2010, 04:42 AM

Yes, I got to agree with everyone out here that gives the answer to all this which is no contact.However, it is always easier said than done. I found myself to this kind of situation except mine was the ex got the new guy the next then and the guy went over to her house overnight after 2 weeks.

Nuff said, I was devastated for 1 month now. She's been with me for 4 years and she can't even sit down and speak on our differences and how to solve it. So stay tough! I am trying hard also.

talaniman · Aug 31, 2010, 01:03 PM

Leaving her alone, through strict NO CONTACT is the way to go, while you get busy rebuilding a life that you enjoy without her.

It will take time.

Just Looking · Aug 31, 2010, 01:33 PM

It sounds like she took the easy way out - for her. It was very unfair to you. She didn't have the decency to be honest with you. She sounds very selfish and immature. As others said, you are lucky to be rid of her and will realize it at some point. The best thing you can do for yourself now is to take care of yourself - get plenty of sleep, eat right, and start planning your future now that you are free. Stay active and exercise, which will help with your stress levels and anxiety. Do a lot of reading - in this forum, on the internet, and maybe some books. I always find that lists help me. When I have a plan, I start feeling relief. You have to find what works for you.

Do the No Contact as you have been advised. When you think of her, instead of thinking of the good times and feeling sad, try to figure out what you want in the next relationship. I'm sure there were good parts of the relationship which you will want in the future, but there were also things lacking. Figure out what is really important to you - and hopefully honesty and integrity will be very high on the list. You are right that there is someone better out there, but take the time to heal and get your strength back.

lostandbroken · Sep 14, 2010, 10:51 PM

I'm trying to determine if my ex wants me back, we are back in talking terms now and its like nothing has happened but I'm putting her as a friend now. But during the last few days I noticed she is flirting a lot with me and being a lot nicer to me, she changed she doesn't get mad if I did something stupid or didn't answer her straight away. I really like being with her again. But I'm afraid to say anything as it might distance her again or I just totally read the signs wrong but a friend did confirm she was definitely flirting with me.

Devorameira · Sep 15, 2010, 05:06 AM

It's hard to say what she's thinking. It's possible that she has just moved you into "friend" mode and that's why she doesn't get mad at you as much.

I think only time will tell if she's wanting to renew the relationship.

talaniman · Sep 15, 2010, 07:18 PM

Maybe she is keeping you in the friend zone until something better comes along. I think you ask her before you go any further with this charade.

By the way, is she still seeing that other guy? If she is why are you hanging around like a lost puppy?

How about filling in the blanks from your last post and this one.

beachloverjohn · Sep 15, 2010, 08:00 PM

Well first of all, do not confuse love with dependency. That is what you feel. I mean how could you feel love for someone that doesn't feel the same for you. You ask her for another chance? Why, is she that much better than you? Don't grovel to her, be a man and stop the pity party. Find someone that is worthy of you, and tell yourself that she is not worth it. Tell yourself that you are a great guy and she didn't appreciate you. That is the beginning of getting over her.

wonderlife · Sep 16, 2010, 06:29 AM

Please ask yourself these quesitons. If one day she says she wants to get back together with you, you will agree on that? And if it doesn't happen, what are you going to do? You still care for her, it's so obvious.

From what you wrote, I don't like the ways she treated you. Her actions speak that she didn't care much about how you feel and didn't treat you with any respect I think you deserve (keep blocking you, ignoring you, keep distance for a while and then coming back into your life, lying about things).

Is she a good honest person in her character? You think she really loves you? I think you are the one who know best on these answers.