[makemyday]

I was with my g/f for 3 years before I found out she was married in europe she was in usa for school and her husband had no idea that she is living with me and I had no idea that she had a husband until one day he come looking for her so she could not hide it from me any more I was very upset I loved her so much and I was planing to marry her and have a familly with her and now I'm lost don't know what to do please advise .thank you

[redhed35]

I can't imagine how you must feel finding out the women you love has been leading a double life.

I wonder though,has she seen her husband during that time?

Was he under the impression they were still married?

There is not much you can do.

Give yourself time to heal,try and pick up the pieces of your life and slowly you can put them together.

Don't let the legacy of this relationship be one of bitterness and mistrust.

[makemyday]

Yes he was under the impression they still married she was talking to him twice a week but I don't speak polish she told me he was her cousin and I believed her .I just don't understand how can she do that to any one it's killing me now I lost about 45 pounds in 3 months

[redhed35]

How have your family reacted?

Do you have their support?

Have you gone back to work/school?

Are you eating well getting rest,exercising?

Taking care of your physical body will go a long way in helping your mental and emotional health.

If you feel overwhelmed or having trouble coming to terms with the situation a visit to your doctor may help.

He may suggest seeing a counsellor to help you get some headspace and perspective.

You will heal and you can start to feel better,but only you can take the first steps.

She must have covered her tracks very well for you not to notice.

Did she see her husband in all the time she was living with you?

[Devorameira]

There's nothing at all that you can do. Your girlfriend made the choice to lie to both you and her husband.

Your girlfriend is a deceitful person who doesn't know the meaning of love. It has to be devastating to find out that someone you love cannot be trusted.

As for you, I know you're hurting, but you have your whole life ahead of you. You deserve to find a woman who loves you with her whole heart and soul and who isn't dividing her time between you and a husband.

Life should be filled with flowers - Life is too short to settle for weeds when you can have a flower garden.

[Enigma1999]

I was with my g/f for 3 years befor i found out she was married in europe she was in usa for school and her husband had no idea that she is living with me and i had no idea that she had a husband untill one day he come looking for her so she could not hide it from me any more i was very upset i loved her so much and i was planing to marry her and have a familly with her and now im lost don't know what to do please advise .thank you

Hello,

Unfortunately, you and her husband are victims.

She was/is living a double life.

I know a lot of love, trust, time, and devotion are lost on your part, but you need to just walk away.

Shame on her! She betrayed two men who seem to be very much in love with her, and you seem to have a kind heart. It was selfish and undeserved!

You need to swallow your tears and walk away from her.

I wish I had something more insightful to say, but in a situation like this, there is only the obvious to say.


Good luck my friend.

[makemyday]

Thank you all for they advice and support .I have been going to see a psychologist so I don't lose my mind and learning how to live again .still very hard most of the time and I can only imagine how her husband must feel

[redhed35]

My guess is she sold him a story he brought it, and he's doing fine,at least on the surface.

He's not your problem and either is she,thank your lucky stars you did'nt get married.

[Shadowburn]

This is just a terrible thing to find out, my heart goes out to you. Please take a good care of yourself and try not to blame yourself for loving and trysting blindly only to be betrayed like that. We all have our share of bitter experiences in life, and crisis like that only reveals a true character.

And yes, I can only imagine how devastated her husband must've been... I hope he'll walk away from her too so she won't be able to use and hurt him anymore just like she used and hurt you.

Good luck. You'll meet a right woman for you who would love, respect and appreciate you more than this girl did.

[Jake2008]

I am wondering if during the three months since you split, and she went back to her husband, has she made any contact with you at all?

I am in agreement that she was living a double life, and quite conveniently so, with her husband being in Poland.

With three months gone by, and I presume that there has been no contact, I hope you continue with counselling to get over this blow.

[makemyday]

Hi jake2008 yes she still calls me and tells me that she loves me .

I feel so stupid she even lied to me about her age all this time she is 30 years old not 25 years old and all my friends were telling me she did not look 25 but I was like why she would lie.
The funny thing the first 6 months I found out that her parents had a different last name ofcours I was like why ? Than she said that her real father was in they german army and she never met him ,and that was a lie too she had her husband last name ,how can I be so blind .

I am still going to counselling and it's going to take me a long time to recover .
Thank you for your concern

[kaka67]

how can i be so blind .
I am still going to counselling and it's going to take me a long time to recover .
thank you for your concern

Your not blind. She lied and deceived you. That isn't your fault. That's all on her.

You need to cut contact. Why would you keep talking to the two timing, lying, b**ch :mad:

You can do so much better than that.

[Jake2008]

I thought she might still be contacting you. It never ceases to amaze me that people can live their lives as lies. I'm really sorry you were stung so badly, but, maybe the plus side of this is that you will be that much stronger when you recover from all of this. Three years was a long investment with her though, and it will take time.

In the meanwhile, don't be too hard on yourself, and look forward to brighter days ahead.

Take care.

[lamp_post]

Wow I really feel you man. I do think I myself need counselling on my relationship... but hey man... do well and hit up the gym...

What's wrong with minority of women out there to outplay guys? [no offence ladies]

[talaniman]

Put her and her lies behind you.

[makemyday]

Thank you talaniman that's so true