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    pixiegurl's Avatar
    pixiegurl Posts: 54, Reputation: 4
    Junior Member
    		  
    #1

    Aug 24, 2010, 12:13 AM
    To pursue or not to pursue?
    There is a guy that I can't stop thinking about. We have become friends through one of my best friends, however, the catch to the story is that she has been in an on-again and off-again relationship with him for two years and it ended only about 5 months ago. She is still quite protective of him, and she absolutely hates it when he meets new people or when he and I talk and hang out when she isn't around. I think I am starting to develop feelings for this guy, and I am not sure what to do about it because I know he doesn't have feelings for her but she may still have feelings for him. She is quite close friends with his family, particularly his mum and sister. I can't stop thinking about him, and I would never pursue anything without being upfront with her first- but am I at risk of losing my friendship if I tell her that I have feelings for this guy? I am not even sure if he feels the same way about me, because I would never ask him as I am scared that my friend will not be happy about it. Any suggestions of what I can do?
    411Help's Avatar
    411Help Posts: 428, Reputation: 103
    Full Member
    		  
    #2

    Aug 24, 2010, 12:48 AM

    Your best friend's EX is off limits.

    Be a good friend. Find another guy.
    kaka67's Avatar
    kaka67 Posts: 261, Reputation: 200
    Full Member
    		  
    #3

    Aug 24, 2010, 03:28 AM

    They've been on and off for two years?

    And you want to get involved with him?

    He obviously doesn't know how to act in a mature relationship. Red flag is flapping in your face big time.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Aug 24, 2010, 04:49 AM

    That's moving rather fast for someone who just ended a long term relationship. Why even take a chance like that when you don't even know how the guy feels about you?

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...er-480597.html

    I think you enjoy your friendships for what they are, and not get carried away by your feelings, when you have so little facts to go on.

    Why ruin two friendships?
    adam_89's Avatar
    adam_89 Posts: 1,866, Reputation: 280
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #5

    Aug 24, 2010, 05:12 AM

    Isn't it a rule that you can't date anybody that you best friends have dated? I thought that was in the handbook. Anyway, he don't seem stable anyway, so take it easy and you will find a good guy when you are ready.
    pixiegurl's Avatar
    pixiegurl Posts: 54, Reputation: 4
    Junior Member
    		  
    #6

    Aug 24, 2010, 05:47 AM

    Thanks everyone... You have all been a big help!
    adam_89's Avatar
    adam_89 Posts: 1,866, Reputation: 280
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #7

    Aug 24, 2010, 05:50 AM

    At your service.
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