[Fr_Chuck]

And one could ask if people don't date someone because of their political views. Or if guys will not date girls who have big or small breasts, and so on. There are stats on some dating sites that some girls will not date any man making under 100,000 a year, so amount of income is also a dating factor.

So you have to find the right partner who likes your height, physcial sizes, income, area you live and more. Then you have to like the same in them.
It is a wonder anyone ever dates

[Kitkat22]

I don't have a problem with anybody.

I do have a problem when people try to pit one race against the other.

It isn't right and yes it does happen.

It's up to us to try and focus on the good things about everyone.

There is so much hate in the world and so many people promoting it.

I have a problem with the terrorist who struck on 9/ll it doesn't mean I hate the race. I don't.

You cannot put all people in one category because of a few brainwashed cowards.

You were to young to remember the racial violence that went on in
He 60's and 70's.

This country was divided and I couldn't understand how one race could think of themselves as "Superior" while another race
Wasn't allowed to eat at a certain place or ride the bus.

It was nothing but ignorance and hate. That's all it was.

[talaniman]

People can never be comfortable with you, unless you are comfortable with yourself. If you think its about how you look or what you are that's stopping you from dating or having a social life, think again. Sure some people have hang ups, so what? That's not your problem so don't make it one for you.

I think if you hold your head up and engage people they will be comfortable engaging you, but if you let the attitudes of a few, prejudice you, and shake your confidence in yourself, that's where you go wrong, and that's the issue to address.

I have found through my experience that being yourself goes a long way in getting to know people, both good and bad, and letting them know you and that's what makes the difference between how YOU treat people and how they treat you.

The bottom line is don't expect them to like you until they know you, and what you are about, and if they don't, tough stuff on them, their problem, not yours. So get your confidence back, and get busy weeding out the nog heads from the good people, and deal with the ones who are good humans as you try to be. If your shy, don't expect life to come to you, you have to get engaged and involved and good people will be attracted to your openness, and see you as a good human being to get to know.

Its hard for any one to date, no matter your color, so look to make friends, and build a life that you enjoy around things you like to do and I think once you are happy with yourself, your confidence will rise as you get comfortable, and familiar with your surroundings, and won't have to force things with the people you encounter.

So forget making stupid changes to your skin, or any other false front and build from the inside out, and be glad of who you are, no matter where you are from and what you have been through.

It ain't about your skin, but rather if you like yourself or NOT. Makes all the difference in the world.

[Kitkat22]

Nobody will date you because your so down on yourself.

It isn't because you're black or white or purple. To have friends you have to be friendly.

This "nobody wants to date me cause I'm black", is a cop-out.

Change your attitude. Try smiling and laughing and helping people without expecting something in return.

We've all had disappointments in our life, but what doesn't kill us , makes us stronger.

Stop whining and get yourself some confidence. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

The only person who is responsible for you is you. You can walk with your head down which shows everyone you lack self confidence or you can stand proud and try to be the person you know you are.

Nobody wants to be around someone who is ashamed of his race, bitter at the world because you didn't get what you thought you should have.

Welcome to the real world.. It's what you make it. Stand proud smile and grab life by the hand.

[slapshot_oi]

You'd know better than us if that is the reason, and if so, it's time to up and leave.

A fact of life is that you don't belong everywhere and you shouldn't expect to. There is a time and place where you will feel most comfortable.

[deronette97]

And to add on, A long time ago,you know, when they had Jim crow laws and black people couldn't do certain things and caucasian kids and adults would tease them? Most of the African-Americans took what ever the caucasian kids said or threw at them. They didn't care what people thought they didn't care what people did they just kept on walking, kept on doing what they needed.
Try to be just like that, don't let people who ignore you stop you from being who you are. If you're feeling invisible, sign up for things that you like and will get you noticed, show the skills you've been hiding and also tell yourself every time you get out of bed.
I'm a human being, just like everyone else. They might not like me on the outside, but if I can break out of that shell I've been trapped in, they may like me for who I really am.

[aivrsn75phila]

To QLP: I guess what everyone is saying is right. Maybe I need to work on my confidence, but I don't know where to start.
I don't hang out at all, so it's not bad people.

To Martinizing2: thank you for your words. I guess I did give up, and a part of me wants to ''play'' again. I don't expect things/favors in return but I don't think I warrant mistreatment and tabloid-like treatment.

[Kitkat22]

to QLP: I guess what everyone is saying is right. Maybe I need to work on my confidence, but I don't know where to start.
I don't hang out at all, so it's not bad people.

to Martinizing2: thank you for your words. I guess I did give up, and a part of me wants to ''play'' again. I don't expect things/favors in return but I don't think I warrant mistreatment and tabloid-like treatment.

Start working on the self confidence. You are somebody special and you'll find that out. Be true to who you are and don't try to be someone else. God created you. You are someone's friend. Be Good and keep Posting.

[aivrsn75phila]

To Kitkat22: thank you. I am trying. When I find the first step I will take it from there

[Kitkat22]

to Kitkat22: thank you. I am trying. when I find the first step I will take it from there

Try and don't ever forget.. you are someone special.. There is something in your life that you are meant to accomplish. We just don't get here by chance. There is always a plan. Amaze yourself and smile when you reach each of your goals. You are a winner.:)

[QLP]

Is there anything else you could share with us about yourself? Like what you do with your time, what interests you, where you normally meet people - maybe we can come up with some ideas to help if we have a bit more information. Perhaps an example of how it came about that you were treated badly so we can understand what is happening there.

[aivrsn75phila]

To QLP: sure. I often lose myself with work and overtime. I am alone pretty much all the time, reading, studying, drowning myself in work... I watch movies at night to kind of escape, and living in new York City with all the liveliness, I don't go out at all. I don't communicate with relatives and I have pretty much no friends.

[talaniman]

No hobbies besides watching movies? No talents or special skills? No secret wishes ? Nothing? Hard to have confidence when you know nothing of yourself. What do you want to do?

[Kitkat22]

What would you like to do? Tell us.

[aivrsn75phila]

To talaniman: I used to write (short stories, poetry, etc.) for years, used to play piano but stopped and I don't play basketball anymore. Secret wishes, hmm... I'll get back to you on that one.

[Kitkat22]

to talaniman: I used to write (short stories, poetry, etc.) for years, used to play piano but stopped and I don't play basketball anymore. Secret wishes, hmm...I'll get back to you on that one.

I love writing. Why don't you have a girlfriend and don't say you're ugly.

[aivrsn75phila]

To Kitkat22: I also used to write songs, to actual music I played, I don't have a great voice but I can sing. I've done art since the age of 2, but I have not done any of these activities for a few years now


Well, you beat me to it but I do think I am unattractive... I don't know

[Kitkat22]

to Kitkat22: I also used to write songs, to actual music I played, I don't have a great voice but I can sing. I've done art since the age of 2, but I have not done any of these activities for a few years now

Why? Why have you stopped doing all the things that make you... you?

[aivrsn75phila]

To Kitkat22: I am not sure. I cannot put my heart into them anymore, I feel pain when I try

[Kitkat22]

to Kitkat22: I am not sure. I cannot put my heart into them anymore, I feel pain when I try

Pain? Explain, did you lose someone?