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    applepief's Avatar
    applepief Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Aug 6, 2010, 10:48 AM
    How can I get my wife to trust me again
    I neen help, 2 months ago I got carry away with texting eveybody. I found out that my job really got to me,and I lost my mind and that why I start to texting. I didn't really know I was texting so much and to who I was texting.Till I got help for it.And then my wife found out. Now she want a divoce. I did eveything I could to show her that I had a proble and it was my job. I love my wife very much, and I will never hurt her like I did on purpose. How can I get her to trust me and believe me. WHAT HAPPEN Wasn't REALLY ME. Please can you help me?
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #2

    Aug 6, 2010, 10:56 AM

    Yes, it was REALLY YOU!!

    What is she angry about? Whom you were texting? How much money it cost?
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #3

    Aug 6, 2010, 10:58 AM
    Obviously there is more to the story if your wife is wanting a divorce because you were texting so much.

    Why is she upset over the texting? Were you ignoring her? Were you crossing the boundary of what is appropriate in a marriage? If you were being inappropriate, what does your job have to do with it?

    IF she is willing to give you a chance, trust is something that takes time and hard work to rebuild. You have to show that you have changed.

    Are there other factors in her wanting a divorce? Have there been on-going problems that predate the texting?
    martinizing2's Avatar
    martinizing2 Posts: 1,868, Reputation: 819
    Expert
     
    #4

    Aug 6, 2010, 09:39 PM
    I neen help, 2 months ago I got carry away with texting eveybody. I found out that my job really got to me,and I lost my mind and that why I start to texting. I didn't really know I was texting so much and to who I was texting.Till I got help for it.And then my wife found out. Now she want a divoce. I did eveything I could to show her that I had a proble and it was my job. I love my wife very much, and I will never hurt her like I did on purpose. How can I get her to trust me and believe me. WHAT HAPPEN Wasn't REALLY ME. Please can you help me?
    As cat said , I think there is more we need to know.
    A statement that leads me to think this is where you say you didn't know who you were texting. This is hard to believe.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
    Uber Member
     
    #5

    Aug 6, 2010, 09:48 PM

    Who did you text? A girlfriend or
    Someone you used to date? What else did you do?
    donf's Avatar
    donf Posts: 5,679, Reputation: 582
    Printers & Electronics Expert
     
    #6

    Aug 7, 2010, 11:23 AM

    Well, since you are getting so little compassion for your situation, I thought I would pile on with the others.

    Look at it this way, you so upset your wife by all your texting because of your job that she turned to another person and now is in love with this person and wants a divorce.

    So who do you blame, you for all your texting and driving your wife into the arms and love of another or your job for making you so crazy that you just had to text.

    How lame are you really? Did you ever hear of taking responsibility for your actions?

    What you are expecting all of us to believe is that things got so bad at work (which apparently you did not know this on a conscious level) that the job forced you to text.

    Just curious, how many of those texts did you send to your wife?

    When I go squirrely, my Lady knows something is up because I just stop being me. The first and I truly mean the first inkling that I'm acting like an (anatomical reference) is my Lady wanting to know what is really going on.

    Women are not blocks of bricks. They are incredibly sensitive to changes in their world around them. I know in my case my Lady will know when the 2X4 with spikes needs to be thunked down on my head to get my attention.

    This is good! It means that she cares, if she did not care you could text until your fingers fall off.

    Were I you, I would corner your wife, get on your knees and beg her to forgive you. If that means you never text again, so be it.

    Trust is a simple thing to gain until you deliberately violate it. Once the lies or lie is out in the open, she is forced to look at all of her life with you and try to figure out how many other lies you have told her.

    I don't envy your situation, and I also don't know how to fix this.

    Sorry for rambling on but you need to be sitting with your Lady and talking with her about how sorry you are for destroying her trust in you.

    And for goodness sakes, any promise you make to this Lady make sure you are ready to die before you break the promise. And that means absolutely no lies!

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