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    sweeteyes16's Avatar
    sweeteyes16 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 4, 2010, 02:59 AM
    I'm 19 and am in a relationship with a fourteen year old
    We are quite close, and have been hanging out for months, he likes me and I like him and we get along great. But I'm scared of what people will say..
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #2

    Aug 4, 2010, 03:04 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by sweeteyes16 View Post
    we are quite close, and have been hanging out for months, he likes me and i like him and we get along great. but im scared of what people will say..
    Hi,

    Let me get this straight, please.

    You're a 19 year old woman who is in a relationship with a fourteen year old boy.

    Is that correct?

    Thanks!
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #3

    Aug 4, 2010, 04:12 AM

    Don't be scared of what people will say, be scared of what the law will do to you!

    This relationship is TOTALLY and COMPLETELY inappropriate. If there is a sexual aspect to it, it becomes illegal. It may also be illegal if his parents are against it and I can't imagine why they wouldn't be.

    That's the legal issues, but aside from that, what possibly can a 14 yr old and a 19 yr old (especially when the 19 yr old is female) have in common? You need to seek counseling about why you would be in a relationship with a 14 yr old.

    End this relationship NOW before you do this child harm!

    Be prepared, because I think you are going to get bombarded by response like mine.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #4

    Aug 4, 2010, 04:28 AM

    I know what they have in common - sex. He's 14. He'd have sex with a rock if the rock consented.

    Of course, that's assuming what "relationship" means in this case.

    And now his mother doesn't have to pay a babysitter when she goes out - his girlfriend can watch him.
    sweeteyes16's Avatar
    sweeteyes16 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Aug 5, 2010, 06:19 PM

    Ok well for starters Im not interested in sex at all. We are not and will not be having sex. We have a lot in common he has been my best friend for months. He's very mature for his age, and we have a lot of fun together.. he is a great guy and Im not going to hurt him. He is also a teen not a child.. thanks..
    sweeteyes16's Avatar
    sweeteyes16 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Aug 5, 2010, 06:21 PM

    Know what I thought this site was for trying to ask questions not get bashed. You don't even know about the situation, I love how "Experts" are so quick to judge.
    sweeteyes16's Avatar
    sweeteyes16 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Aug 5, 2010, 06:27 PM
    The laws about age and sex are clear but what are the laws about age and dating
    Im about to date someone quite a bit younger than me, there is and will be NO sex involved. Im just wondering what the laws are on dating someone and all I can find is laws about sex.
    AK lawyer's Avatar
    AK lawyer Posts: 12,592, Reputation: 977
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    #8

    Aug 5, 2010, 06:27 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by sweeteyes16 View Post
    Know what I thought this site was for trying to ask questions not get bashed. You don't even know about the situation, I love how "Experts" are so quick to judge.
    Ok. But in reviewing this thread, I don't see any question.

    This is a legal answer forum. That's why we have tried to respond, despite the lack of a question, with legal-related answers. The only "legal" aspect that probably occurred to the previous posters had to do with the "statutory rape" angle.

    So, again, what do you want to know: law-wise?
    martinizing2's Avatar
    martinizing2 Posts: 1,868, Reputation: 819
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    #9

    Aug 5, 2010, 06:29 PM

    What are your respective ages?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #10

    Aug 5, 2010, 06:30 PM

    And of course in many states there are issues with "touching" of a minor if the other is not a minor.

    And the parents of the younger will also have to be OK with it, there are other issues, such as interference with custody that is often used here in GA to send the older dater to jail.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #11

    Aug 5, 2010, 06:48 PM

    It is easy, a 19 year old with a 14 year old is a unhealthy relationship. Sorry but you just want to hear it is OK and upset that you are hearing the truth.

    So you ask what will people think ? They will think you are sick, mentally ill and a pervert wanting to be with a child.
    That is what people will think.

    Why not go ask his mom and dad what they will think ? Are your parents ?
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #12

    Aug 5, 2010, 06:51 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by sweeteyes16 View Post
    Know what I thought this site was for trying to ask questions not get bashed. You don't even know about the situation, I love how "Experts" are so quick to judge.
    You posted this in the Law forum so it was assumed you wanted legal advice. But that this is an unhealthy relationship. While its true we don't know the situation, we only know what you have told us. So if you didn't want us to misjudge the situation why did you give so little info? But even this amount of info is enough. There is no way I can imagine a romantic relationship between a 14 yr old boy and a 19 yr old female as ANYTHING but an unhealthy, weird and potentially damaging relationship. If you want to rationalize it for yourself, go ahead. But yes we are experts and our expert opinion is that you should leave this child alone!
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #13

    Aug 5, 2010, 07:01 PM

    I'm not a lawyer ,nor am I an expert. I am a Mom and I will say this ;if my son were fourteen again and I found he was in a "close" friendship with a nine-teen year old woman, he would be grounded until he was eighteen and you would know "The Wrath of Mom".

    Leave this kid alone before you get yourself into trouble.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #14

    Aug 6, 2010, 06:41 AM
    Your other thread on this topic: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/other-law/im-19-am-relationship-fourteen-year-old-494736.html#

    I have asked that this be merged with your other thread because it is on the same subject and is law related.

    Please do not ask the same question in multiple places. It looks like you are trying to fish for the answer you want instead of attempting to understand the ones you have been given.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #15

    Aug 6, 2010, 06:47 AM

    Is this the same 14 year old in your other thread? If so, ask his parents permission to date him and see what response you get.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #16

    Aug 7, 2010, 05:59 AM

    Agreed - when you pick him up at his parents' house and introduce yourself I'm sure they will either approve or disapprove.

    Where do you go on dates? In my area he can't get into R movies so that leaves that out -
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #17

    Aug 7, 2010, 12:52 PM

    Touching?? If all the laws you have read tell only about sexual laws... HELLO.. that's where your relationship is heading. Get a clue'
    Leave him to his pokemon cards and you stick to Cosmo.

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