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    deluvlydre's Avatar
    deluvlydre Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 30, 2009, 12:55 PM
    7 Year relationship
    I am currently in a 7 year relationship with a man who is 49 years old and never married. When I met him he was still living at home with his mother and his sister who is now 50 years. In the 7 years his younger sister (now 36 years old) moved back home 5 years ago, she has since had a son who now lives at the home. So my boyfriend who is now 49, his mother and 2 sister and 1 nephew age 4 now all live a home.I have my own home since we have met. I am 50 and he is 49. He has never made any intention to move on his own, when I asked him about marriage he states some day, but the some day has never came. He has a very dysfuntional relationship with his older sister (un-natural) almost a relationship without sex.
    I don't believe he will ever ask me to marry me, even though he says some day. I have wasted my time and I am now ready to move on. I believe I should have made this decision a long time ago. Am I right?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Jan 30, 2009, 03:31 PM

    When its time to go, its time to go. 7 years is a long time to not have what you want from a relationship.
    zeeniee's Avatar
    zeeniee Posts: 341, Reputation: 63
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    #3

    Jan 31, 2009, 12:29 PM

    Hi Deluvydre,

    Your partner is living in a very unhealthy way and after 7 years he has shown you no real commitments on moving forward with you. It is clear that you want much more- rightly so.

    I think you thoughts and decisions in moving on are correct. Do waste anymore time- life is too precious to waste.
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #4

    Jan 31, 2009, 12:57 PM

    I think you have answered your own question.*I have wasted my time and I'm ready to move on*.

    OR..

    Perhaps you need to ask yourself, if after all this time.. is marriage the only thing you want from your relationship?

    If you love each other and you didn't mention any other problems than maybe it is worth saving.

    Sounds like he needs some real motivation to get out of his comfort zone with Mom and sis so maybe you have to take a stand.. tell him its time to man up (hard to change after 49 yrs) and be with you.

    Maybe not marriage yet but at least try to slowly get him to release himself from his dependent relationship with his family.

    Why marriage? That is not the only way to express commitment.

    Talk it out ,tell him your feelings,after all this time is should be second nature.
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