[ptmacastro]

Hi my name is miriam I'm married n have 2 beautiful girls with my husband. My husband is the type of man that want to leave all night long don't come back till the next morning and act like nothing happen. I know that when his out he goes and buys coccaine and beer. What actions can I take to leave him and he won't take my kids from me? I know that with his addiction he can't but him n his mom threaten me before saying that with all the they have they can use it to take them from me. Please I need help I'm scared of leaving him n they would take them from me I'm 20 years old and his going to turn 33. I'm working but only get $350 every 2 weeks and if I move out I won't have a stable place to stay with my girls and I know his mom would use that against me to take them away. What should I do before leaving?[/LIST]

[Clough]

Hi, ptmacastro!

Do you know if you have a women's shelter around where you live, please?

Thanks!

[ptmacastro]

I'm sorry for writing things that I missunderstood. What I tried to say that my mother in law and husband threaten me before saying that with all the money they have they would do anything possible to take the kids from me. Specially when my mom doesn't have that kind of money to let me borrow to fight and win them the case. What sceres me to dead is that without me money and evidence they would win the case and who's going to watch after them if my husband spends all his money on his drug addiction and rather spend time with his friends spendin the money. My mother in law can support them but works from 6am to 6pm. Who's going to watch my girls while she's working and my husband with his friends getting ed up.(sorry excuse my language but is the true)

[Clough]

Evidence of what, please? Other than not making all that much income, you haven't revealed anything yet that would indicate that you've done anything wrong.

[ptmacastro]

Hi, ptmacastro!

Do you know if you have a women's shelter around where you live, please?

Thanks!

No I'm sorry I wished I knew because I heard they could help me with my situation I stay close to 249 and antoine in houston tx. If anyone could help me giving me information I thank them a lot.
;)

[ptmacastro]

Evidence of what, please? Other than not making all that much income, you haven't revealed anything yet that would indicate that you've done anything wrong.

evidence of his addiction and all the stuff his done that I know it would help me against him and his family.

[Clough]

By my asking you about evidence, I was asking about evidence that you think they could use against you.

If you click on the following link, you'll find some women's shelters located around your vicinity.

LINK

At this point, it would appear that you would have more evidence to use against him that if your children were to stay with him, the situation for them would be unstable.

[Alty]

It's very possible that you could apply for and get legal aid.

findlegalhelp.org - Consumers' Guide to Legal Help - Finding Free Help

The women's shelter is a good idea short term, but sooner or later you will have to officially go to court and get custody, and a divorce.

Check the link I provided. If you need any more help, or the link doesn't direct you where you need to go in order to get legal aid, please come back and we'll see what else we can do.

Good luck and stay safe.

[ScottGem]

A women's shelter may be a good place to get referrals for help, but I don't see you as needing a shelter.

You need several things. First, you need legal advice to figure out how to protect your custody if you file for separation/divorce. Second, you need a better job to support yourself and your children. Third, and this may sound harsh, but you need some backbone to stand up to your husband and mother-in-law.

They can threaten all they want, but if you have any evidence of a cocaine addiction, then you stand an excellent chance of getting custody. But you have to do things legally. You need to file for divorce properly to prevent them from taking the kids.

I do have to ask the question about how you came to be married to this guy. At 20 to have 2 children is unusual. How long have you been married? How old are your daughters?

[ptmacastro]

How do I get that evidence if we do go to court is going to be my word against theirs. The only way is doing a drug test but when he use to be on probation he use to take cirto to clean his system and won't come out positive on the piss test. I know that 10 years ago he was in jail for a drug case so I could use that against him. But what about my mother in law? How do I do it to win costudy of my girls
She's married but been separated for more than 7yrs and she has a boyfriend that I only have his number. How can I prove that in court and if that would be something against her?

By my asking you about evidence, I was asking about evidence that you think they could use against you.

If you click on the following link, you'll find some women's shelters located around your vicinity.

LINK

At this point, it would appear that you would have more evidence to use against him that if your children were to stay with him, the situation for them would be unstable.

[ptmacastro]

It's very possible that you could apply for and get legal aid.

findlegalhelp.org - Consumers' Guide to Legal Help - Finding Free Help

The women's shelter is a good idea short term, but sooner or later you will have to officially go to court and get custody, and a divorce.

Check the link I provided. If you need any more help, or the link doesn't direct you where you need to go in order to get legal aid, please come back and we'll see what else we can do.

Good luck and stay safe.

see I'm scared as u seen I don't make that much money and I know that lawyers and divorce cost a lot. And I know what u thinking why don't I get a better job is because I'm barely learning how to drive and don't have a car

[ScottGem]

That's why you need to make use of the resources available to women in your position.

[ptmacastro]

A women's shelter may be a good place to get referrals for help, but I don't see you as needing a shelter.

You need several things. First, you need legal advice to figure out how to protect your custody if you file for separation/divorce. Second, you need a better job to support yourself and your children. Third, and this may sound harsh, but you need some backbone to stand up to your husband and mother-in-law.

They can threaten all they want, but if you have any evidence of a cocaine addiction, then you stand an excellent chance of getting custody. But you have to do things legally. You need to file for divorce properly to prevent them from taking the kids.

I do have to ask the question about how you came to be married to this guy. At 20 to have 2 children is unusual. How long have you been married? How old are your daughters?

I was 14 when I met him I tought he was the 1 my only 1 but I knew of his coccaine addiction I just didn't know how bad was it until I moved in with him on hurricane katrina I got pregnant on may 2006 I tought giving him a kid would change. After my mom knowing I was pregnant she told me to marry him or she'll put him in jail I was so in love with him that I couldn't let nothing bad happen to him. Getting pregnant again was just thinking he would change but is still the same together we been almost 6 years living for almost 5 and married going on 4. My daughters are 3years old and 5 months. I'm just fead up with it with his lies and disapointments. I always gave him chances and he'll never take them.

[ScottGem]

OK, so you started a relationship with him when you were 14 and he was 27! You had sex with him at least once before you were 17. I suspect it was more often then that. This man is a pedophile. And you can use that to keep your kids away from him.

I have to say this but your mother did you no favors. Shotgun weddings rarely work out. It would have been better for you if she had pressed charges against him for statutory rape. That would have put him in prison instead of making your life miserable.

You REALLY need to find a support group women in your situation. Check the links Altenweg gave you. You need counseling, legal advice and more to get yourself out of this mess you got yourself into.

[ptmacastro]

OK, so you started a relationship with him when you were 14 and he was 27! You had sex with him at least once before you were 17. I suspect it was more often then that. This man is a pedophile. And you can use that to keep your kids away from him.

I have to say this but your mother did you no favors. Shotgun weddings rarely work out. it would have been better for you if she had pressed charges against him for statutory rape. That would have put him in prison instead of making your life miserable.

You REALLY need to find a support group women in your situation. Check the links Altenweg gave you. You need counseling, legal advice and more to get yourself out of this mess you got yourself into.

yes thanks a lot for your words I do need a lot of legal advise. I was young and dumb didn't think about the concequenses. Now I'm really scared to get separated for my girls them 2 are the love of my life. What would I do without them? I don't want my girls to be without a dad I just want to do things right and make sure they stay with me. One of my other mistakes was that when I use to have a lot of problems with my mom (my dad was never in my life I never met him) I use try to commit suicide and end it up at the hospital. That was way too long ago before I had my girls I never even tought about doing it again once they came in my life. Can they use that against me if it's in my record?

[ScottGem]

It depends on how long ago that was. They will certainly try to use it.

[ptmacastro]

[QUOTE=ScottGem;2453621]It depends on how long ago that was. They will certainly try to use it.[ /QUOTE]
I can't remember when exactly that happen I think it was around 2004-2005 and I did it more than one time. I had my first girl on 2007. Once I found out I was pregnant I never tried it again. Like I said before my girls are the most important persons in my life so I won't do something that would hurt them.