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CENCIA · Oct 15, 2009, 06:27 AM

Hi,

I just wanted to know,my in-laws pretend to like me, I guess its because of my son who's 1 years old.
My husband wants to spend all his life there.he helps his father with the business,but is home most of the time.:(
I work 08h00 to 17h00 everyday, and I'm still studying.My husband was never taught to be independent and says spending time with us is when we are with his parents.

What can I do?:confused:

raquel4u · Oct 15, 2009, 06:50 AM

You married your husband not his family. Who cares if they don't like you, go find some other friends instead of going over there pretending when you know they don't like you. Business is business let him continue working there that's what you call "job security" what are you wanting to move for. Just because you got married does not mean you can't have a life outside your marriage, have friends go to the mall have lunch, anything. As far as you not going out make plans get tickets to a play a movie or something if he don't want to go hey you have a friend that will take his place, trust me he will get the picture when he realize you will do things without him. And for the "mommy boy" tell him to GROW UP!

J_9 · Oct 15, 2009, 06:59 AM

One thing I was always taught growing up... If you marry a man/woman, you marry their family. Did you know he was like this before you married him?

Jake2008 · Oct 15, 2009, 07:24 AM

I don't know why you say they 'pretend' to like you. Maybe they DO like you, and you are just jealous of their time with your husband and their son.

I presume while you are working they are caring for your son? If that is the case, then your husband helping them out seems like fair compensation, unless you are actually paying them to babysit.

My marriage in the early years with two young children involved moving constantly, and being thousands of miles from any family, his or mine. I would have loved to have somebody nearby when one was sick, or just to have them nearby to visit. Holidays were very lonely, and it was isolating and depressing raising the children alone, while my husband worked long hours, and travelled.

I'd say that your inlaws are probably more a blessing than a curse, and perhaps you should appreciate them more.

As to spending more time with your husband, what's stopping you from arranging concert tickets, or booking a table at a nice restaurant for a special dinner. Maybe even a weekend away together. Nothing has to cost too much, just be creative.

And when you find yourself becoming resentful that he's over at his parents house, either join him, or find something else to do. Ride a bike, spend some time in a park, go swimming, meet your girlfriends for coffee.

I don't see where you have anything to complain about.

Cat1864 · Oct 15, 2009, 07:39 AM

Originally Posted by raquel4u

you married your husband not his family. who cares if they dont like you, go find some other friends instead of going over there pretending when you know they dont like you. business is business let him continue working there thats what you call "job security" what are you wanting to move for. just because you got married does not mean you can't have a life outside your marriage, have friends go to the mall have lunch, anything. as far as yall not going out make plans get tickets to a play a movie or something if he dont want to go hey you have a friend that will take his place, trust me he will get the picture when he realize you will do things without him. and for the "mommy boy" tell him to GROW UP!

I think you may have mis-read some of her post. She doesn't say anything about moving. She works and (by 'studying' I am guessing) goes to school. He seems to think of his parents' house as home instead of their home. She says he helps his father with the business not that he works with/for his father. There is a big difference. They have a one year old child that limits some of her choices if he doesn't help out.

CENCIA, how old are you both and how long have you been married? Is the child his? Did you get married because you were pregnant? Who takes care of the child while you are at work and 'studying'?

Have you tried sitting down and discussing your concerns with him? By discussing, I mean actually talking and listening not arguing, crying, screaming, blaming, etc.

talaniman · Oct 16, 2009, 07:44 AM

Geez, you have the best baby sitters in the world, and most women would be delighted to know their husband is with his family when your working. So what's your real problem about?

Just me, tell your husband you need a date with him, heck you already have babysitters! Have some fun you hard working woman, and enjoy your perks.