[Sam_bao]

I'm currently in a situation where I love a girl and she loves a guy that kind of likes her but likes other girls. First off I'm 17 years old I've known her for over 10 years. She is 16.. she and I have been close friends but I've always wanted to be more...

My best mate and he's 19... and I'm like his little brother.
The girl and I would always hugs me, hold hands and she would always cuddle with me when she wants to which is a lot. Then she realizes she likes my mate.. but she still does the hugging , etc.. With me.

Then one day she told me she had no feelings for me what so ever. I gave her space I mean a lot because I see her 2 or 3 times a week and the guy sees her once a week. She and I have been though a lot together.. when she was sick I was there. When I was sick she was there. Now there's the guy that comes in and takes her from me :'( I don't know what to do anymore. The guy and I have been friends for 4 years and in those for years he didn't like the girl until the begging of this year.. I'm slowly losing her to him and I've been thinking to myself am I not good enough? I've crying for a weeks now.. it hurts so much..

[Alty]

This isn't a love triangle, because she's not in love with you.

She's your friend, and that's exactly how she treats you. Hugs between friends just mean your good friends. At 16 I had a lot of male friends, I'd cuddle with them all the time, didn't mean I wanted more, just friendship. It was understood.

She told you she doesn't have those feelings for you. She's dating someone. You need to figure out if you can just be friends with her, realize that that's all she has to offer you, or walk away because you can't let it go.

You're not losing her to him. In order to lose something you had to have it. You never did.

I know it hurts, but it's best that you realize now that this isn't going to happen, and move on.

Good luck.

[positiveparent]

Hi Sam
Ive just read your post, and Im really sorry you're hurting so bad at the moment, and I do know what it feels like when you care a lot for someone and you lose them to another person you believed was a friend, it's a double betrayal.


I know you felt deeply about this girl and you both did a lot together and for each other.

It hurts real bad now, and you don't understand why this happened. Sam this happens to lots and lots of young girls and boys, when they first start in the world of relationships and romance, and it hurts just as bad for every one of us, but I can tell you this, it will go away and will get better.

I think what you need to do in order to help yourself get over this, is to go No Contact, you can find out all about it on the opening page of the forum in the stickies at top of the list of threads.

Please go read up on it, and if you do as its suggests you'll be doing yourself a big favour, you'll be helping yourself to heal and in time you'll move on from this and feel much stronger and tougher, and you will find another girl one who will want only you.

Please do this, and post here anytime you want to.

Take care Sam, and good luck...

[talaniman]

ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Altenweg again.
She has told you she would rather be with someone else, and it hurts but it happens all the time. Her feelings, whatever they were have changed so you have to accept it and start doing your thing with some one else. Sorry buddy.

[Sam_bao]

Thanks for giving me this feeling of closerure I wasn't sure I'll try to move on. Thanks :)