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    butterfly1970's Avatar
    butterfly1970 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #21

    Jan 3, 2007, 09:21 PM
    People treat you the way you allow them to treat you. If he did it when you were married and then to 2 other women why should you abandon a man that cares about you and you have a child with. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. Good Luck:confused:
    lburkins's Avatar
    lburkins Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #22

    Jan 3, 2007, 10:50 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by terceira
    :confused: Hi, I am very confused. I was married for 10 years. My husband was a great provider, we had a beautifull home, vacations, and lots of friends, but he was always out with the boys, watching games at the bar, fishing trips, or just hanging out with his buddies, i know there were no other women, but we never had together time, not even on birthdays or our anniversaries. we had no children. He did drink quite a bit, couple of times got very verbally abusive. I met a friend on line nine years ago, (married with two kids) we didn't see each other in person or picture for 5 months and lived only 25 minutes apart, but we fell in love. After almost a year we both left our homes,got divorced and moved in together. We got married, have a beautifull daughter. My ex had a very hard time accepting our divorce, on the day we got divorced he begged me crying not to do it. He has always called me on days he is felling really bad. He has remarried twice, has a girl from second wife and a boy from third wife. both wifes claim they couldn't deal with him and "his boys" ( yeah it sounded familiar) but they also tell everybody the same thing, that he was always talking about me, always remembering "us" on holidays and important evets.
    My husband was diagnossed with cancer last year, but he is doing great after surgery and radiation, thanks to God.
    My ex has been in touch with me on a daily basis for the past 5 months, he just called me at exactly midnigth on new years to say that he loves me and we belong together.
    I am very confused, i miss him, i love him, i love my husband, my ex still drinks and hangs out with the boys, he has made a very succesefull life, he has retired at the age of 41. my husband spends every cent we have buying everything we don't need we don't even own a home.
    please give any ideas or sugestions.
    thanks.
    I think you need to stay with your new husband. I really don't feel you should back track. There was a reason you left in the 1st place. It is good to love but you need to love your ex from a distance. Why leave where you have built a steady foundation to go back to abuse and drinking. I know that isn't healthy.Plus give your child the chance to grow up with both parents under one roof. Never forget your past but you have to look forward to your future. Please don't do it. He is a grown man he can take care of himself.

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