[positiveparent]

Maybe subconsciously he's become a challenge for you, it happens, it happens in m/f relationships all the time.

However, you are only causing yourself more hurt by keeping this going. You only knew him for a week or so, you found out he's taken, and that he wants to work on his relationship with the other girl.

Seriously why are you even considering meeting him or having anything to do with him, he's using you and nothing more.

Why allow anyone to do that? He's not going to make anything by way of a relationship with you, no matter what, stop being available to him and if you do speak to him let your second word to him be OFF!!

Seriously the sooner you turn your back on this creep the sooner you will start to feel better, you don't want to waste your time on a person who has told you he's taken, walk away shut the door on this episode and start living your life, you're merely stuck in the past, and you really don't want to be there, for all you know he and his girfriend could be laughing their heads off at you behind your back, and that does happen.

Hes has you dangling on a string, like a puppet, ask yourself are you a puppet or a person, and walk away, let him wallow in his own selfishness, regain some dignity, don't treat yourself so bad.

[redhead1992]

I know. And you guys are right. But could you please just answer the question I asked instead of telling me not to go? I want to know what kind of body language will indicate he's lying or being semi-sincere with his words.

[Kitkat22]

Search the web.

[asking]

i know. and you guys are right. but could you please just answer the question i asked instead of telling me not to go? i want to know what kind of body language will indicate hes lying or being semi-sincere with his words.

Redhead, I have read a lot about lying and my understanding is that there are no easy ways to tell if someone is lying (in spite of the TV show Lie to Me, which makes it seem possible to instantly tell.) In fact, I just read an article about different kinds of lie detectors, including the traditional polygraph and machines that measure hesitations in people's voices. A few of them work better than chance at identifying lies, but none of them is any good at telling when someone is not lying. In other words, they often say people are lying when they are not. The article said if you held up a piece of paper that said "lie" every time somebody spoke, you would have a "100% accuracy" in detecting lies. But of course you'd also be saying someone was lying every time they said ANYTHING.

If there was an easy and accurate way to tell if someone was lying, then police and FBI would be using it. The reality is that people who are motivated to lie are often VERY good at it and all of us are bad at detecting lies.

You already know that he lied about going back to school and withheld from you the information that he was in a relationship already. I think you know that he will deceive you if it suits him. You will not be able to tell. That's the horrible answer.

[positiveparent]

If he's rehearsed his lies he will easily fool you plus because of your emotions over this person, you wouldn't spot the signs if they jumped out and bit you, because you are being blinded by your emotions.

So knowing what body language to look for won't really do you any good because the moment you set eyes on him all logic will fly out the window.

So you'll be easily deceived.

Maintaining eye contact could be a good indication that he's lying if he moves his eyes from left to right or they're darting all over the place, as stated in pre post, rubbing his chin, nose or ear can also indicate lying, but its not fool proof, and whether you'll spot any of these is another thing, you are emotionally attached to him and that means he is able to deceive you easily. Sorry but it's the truth.

[positiveparent]

You do realise what goes around comes around, what about his g/f and how all of this must be effecting her, is it fair to take another woman's b/f as much as he's an obvious cheater, one day you'll be in a relationship, so ask yourself how would you like it if it happens to you.

Meet him if you will but don't forget you're laying yourself wide open to being even more used and abused by this person. I hope you're prepared for the consequences of your own actions and what that may lead to..

Which will include heart break and unhappiness.

[Kitkat22]

This is what's going on with him.
His girlfriend found out and she dumped him.

He's feeling a little frisky and thinks... "oh wait I know where I can find a little action and he calls you.

You meet with him, have dinner if he isn't cheap, go back to his place and have sex.

He'll tell you how much he's missed you and how he loves you and how much you turn him on and so on and so forth.

He gets back with the girlfriend and leaves you AGAIN and if he can he'll cheat with any woman who'll have him'

My opinion.

[Homegirl 50]

Don't meet him, don't have anything to do with him, he's trouble and you don't need that, let him and all thoughts of him go, he's a user, and for your own self respect Don't let him use you. Drop him, and move on. You've wasted too much time on him as it is. You deserve better but whilst you're hung up on him you won't find it.

"As for Body language, if he doesnt hold eye contact, rubs his ear, or his nose, or chin, it usually indicates something being said is untruthful."

positiveparent answered your question.

[positiveparent]

I have 8 brothers, all married and all have dated and maybe used the odd girl, or had flings in the past. I asked them about this when I recently saw them and each and everyone of them said the same.

This is what they said.

The guy went on holiday without the g/f and in his mind he was intending to pick up with other girls, which he did, he knew he was not intending to take it any further once the holiday was over, but like all men or most, he told you what he thought you wanted to hear, he had no intentions of keeping to anything he told you he would do once the holiday was over, in his mind you were no more than a holiday screw.

Even they said you would be wise to forget it and put it down to experience. Now if 8 males have said this, I think they've got it spot on, they should know with being males.

They also said they didn't take up with the girls who came across on the first or second date they married the girl who made them work for it, and wait. The girls who respected themselves, and their own bodies.

If you still can't see the wood for the trees, then expect to be taken for a mug, for even longer.

OP in your first post you claim you didn't have intercourse with him, but in a later post you go on to say you and he did sexual things together you've not done before. (or words to that effect) sorry but you've been used. In view of what you've written its plain to see he only wanted one thing from you, and that's all he will ever want, and some men/boys will say anything to get inside your knickers. That's as old as the hills..

[redhead1992]

I didn't see him like I was supposed to. But we got in a fight via text, then we got over it and he promised to call, and didn't. No surprise. But then he apologized and promised to call again.. again, the phone has yet to ring. I told him that if he would just tell me "i dont care, leave me alone" then I would, and id be able to force myself to let go. But his response was "but that would be a lie".. ha like he suddenly cares about honesty? But I don't know how to let go because he keeps sayig stuff to keep me hooked. How do I get unhooked. I've deleted his number so I won't text him, but its memorized, plus he'll text me... one of my guy friends offered to call him up and give him hell and tell him to just not talk to me anymore if he's going to keep lying and hurting me, should I take him up on that offer?

[Homegirl 50]

Your friends don't need to tell him anything except to leave you alone. Period. Don't give him a crack to walk through by saying if he is going to lie to you. He needs to be told to leave you alone. No if ands or buts.
If he texts you, tell him you no longer want to hear from him.
If he text after that, you delete them don't read them, don't answer his phone calls, he will soon get tired and move on to someone else.
He is not serious about you, just playing.
He is not worth your thoughts or time.
It will take time but you'll get past this.

[Kitkat22]

Vacation flings rarely last. Look on the web. Don't think this guy is going to be exclusive, he isn't. From his girfriend to you, back to his girlfriend. You were a summer romance that's all. Sorry.

[redhead1992]

Homegirl, you're probably right. I just have a hard time willng myself to ignore the calls etc. I wish I wouldve read that post before he called me last night... he kept telling me that he really wants to be friends blah blah bah and its like I want to so badly, but I know its bad for me. But since I want it so badly, I can't stay away

[Homegirl 50]

Well think about the fact that he has a girl friend and obviously has no problem going behind her back talking to another girl.
Think about how he sees you as a side piece. He does not want you as his girl, he wants you as a diversion.
You have not known this boy very long. Stop the romanticizing about him. He was a boy you met on vacation and decided to see how far he could get with you and is now playing with you. I know that sounds harsh but that is the reality of it.
Get over it girl, for your own well being. This guy is no good.

[Kitkat22]

Well think about the fact that he has a girl friend and obviously has no problem going behind her back talking to another girl.
Think about how he sees you as a side piece. He does not want you as his girl, he wants you as a diversion.
You have not known this boy very long. Stop the romanticizing about him. He was a boy you met on vacation and decided to see how far he could get with you and is now playing with you. I know that sounds harsh but that is the reality of it.
Get over it girl, for your own well being. This guy is no good.

Homegirl is right... He's playing you! Leave him alone and find an honest guy.:)

[redhead1992]

So even being just friends, nothing more, JUST friends is a bad idea?

[Homegirl 50]

That is a bad idea because you have more than "just friends" feelings for him and he has a girl friend.
This guy is not going to stop until he gets in your pants. You have to have the sense to not let him go there and that means don't communicate with him at all.

[Kitkat22]

Once you have had sex with a man you cannot just go back to being friends. It would would really be awkward for you to be someplace and your "friend" shows up with another girl.

You burned your bridges and he supplied the match.