[bostonbruiser]

I'll keep this as short as I can, for privacy sake, my name's.. Bill, and my girlfriends name is Tina. I'm well aware that I'm young, just shy of 18. Basically from about 13-15 I dated Tina, and it was great, we lost our virginity to each other, and sure you could say we were in "love". As you can imagine, we were young! Way to young. Basically adolescence took its course, it started to go south when as plain as I can put it, I hung out with another girl a few times, and yes, lied about what I was actually doing. I never cheated on Tina but she just could never rebuild the trust she once had for me, and things were never the same. Then months down the road I had found out she cheated, lost my cool, and didn't speak a word to her for over 2 years, until recently. A few months ago a 20 minute conversation led right into a relationship between the two of us before I even knew it. I'm a bit older now sure, but I'm still young. Tina's not a very passionate person, she's a smart independent girl and all she needs to make it in this world is the strong head she's got on her shoulders, love certainly is not in her deck of NEEDS, where it's my only one. But know that I am not confusing sex with love, I enjoy spending time with her, being around her. Unlike her I'm perfectly content sitting doing nothing with her, as long as she's around me I'm happy, she always needs to be entertained. Tina's in no way.. "lovey dovey" if you will, she's not a very affectionate person and can be near impossible to talk to about the subject. I've spent years trying to convince myself that it's just the kind of person she is, or is it just me not being the right person? I don't throw around the big four letter word very often, but recently I've dropped it a few times with no response, she says she's just not comfortable saying it. We've been together for a few months now(not to mention the years we spent together in the past), I mean I've had to ask her if she wants to be with me, and she says yes or course, but it hurts me that I even need to ask, I wish she could just make it clear. I know I'm young and you can laugh and tell me I don't know what I'm talking about, but I've spent literal years with this girl, and I am positive that I'm in love with her, there's no one else I'd ever rather be with, being with her is better than winning the lottery. Sorry for going off on the tangent, if anyone's even still reading at this point :p My original question was: Is her lack of... desire, passion, and affection just the kind of person she is? Or is it that I'm just not the right person for her? Am I just a fool with a big heart blinded by love? Will I ever be able to regain her trust? I know actions speak louder than words and trust is built over time, but would I be wasting my time?

[Scleros]

It's possible to love someone and even if they love you for the two of you to not be compatible. You should ask yourself if you are willing to spend the rest of your life in the situation you are in now. It seems the perfect "bliss" of being with her is only 99%, and the 1% that's lacking is killing you, else you wouldn't be here. You've communicated how you feel and gotten limited or no response from Tina to your liking; this doesn't bode well for the long term. It may just be a lack of communication skills given her age. You will have to decide whether you can live with Tina as she is, she may never change.

That said, my opinion is that it's silly for anyone your age to be exclusive or thinking of long term plans together. You barely know yourself, and you've only known Tina. You should be dating as many people as possible whilst the available pool is large and convenient. If you spend all your time with Tina and she eventually leaves you, you could find yourself 20 or 30 something with no dating skills.