[incredibleme]

My daughter is 9 and has always had minimal contact with her dad he would go months with out talking to her at times and would visit for a week every year and a half. He is with a person that has said she was going to replace my daughter and named her daughter like mine. Now his family does not trust my daughter to be alone with him and his girl friend they would even go as far as to impose supervision. I was told by his family they have unreporteed domestic violence issues and that the girlfriend hates me why I have no clue and he himslef told me he is not allowed to speak to me and is very angry and aggressive when he does. He bullies my daughter and lies to her constantly I truly fear for my child what can I do.

[ScottGem]

Is there a custody/visitation order in place?

[incredibleme]

Yes he is not allowed to travel with her. He keeps insisting and its driving me crazy he even told her he was going to take her because she has to go with him and she just became a mess crying. The order is established but he makes chaos as if the law does not apply to him.

[Wondergirl]

Yes he is not allowed to travel with her. He keeps insisting and its driving me crazy he even told her he was going to take her because she has to go with him and she just became a mess crying. The order is established but he makes chaos as if the law does not apply to him.

I don't believe he really wants to take her anywhere, but his seeing her cry hysterically when he threatens her pleases him very much. And he likes irritating you too with his threats about taking her somewhere. He's one of those people who enjoys having chaos all around him. If there's no chaos, he will create it.

Is there some way you and your daughter can keep from becoming upset? (and foil him)

[Wondergirl]

Would you get an order of protection against him and report him to the police when he violates it?

[incredibleme]

Thanks for the comment that really makes sense! I know for a fact they feel delighted to stress me out and I feel bad about my daughters stress. I will have a discussion with her about this :-)

[incredibleme]

I would do it. Can you get a restraining order for a he said she said? That has always stopped me from doing so. I do have emails about him wanting to take her away and get coustody before he pays. That was before visitation was worked out. I do also

[Fr_Chuck]

You are to allow what ever the court order allows.
If he is not to "travel" with her, how is he suppose to get her for visits ? Or is the travel, meaning going out of state or on trips, not merely taking child to his home ?

But you have to go to court with proof, not gossip from family unless they will testify in court with proof. And show he is a threat to the child and ask for modifications to visits

** I will note, if in reality there is no real threat, and you or you have allowed others to talk about father and cause child to be scared of father from the talk, then he may have more of a case against you.

So if asked why, what has the father actually done to the child, not to others, not what family said he did, a 9 year old could testify in some court, so if the judge asked her to name exact things the father did, that makes her scared, what would she name ?

[incredibleme]

He lives out of state and yes his family will send notarized letters if I need them.

[Wondergirl]

Thanks for the comment that really makes sense! I know for a fact they feel delighted to stress me out and I feel bad about my daughters stress. I will have a discussion with her about this :-)

Nine y/os love to play-act. Make this your Academy Award performances of the year by not allowing him to upset either of you. Practice by role-playing with your daughter, so when the real thing happens, she will be prepared and know how to do it.