[SkinyBisPreg]

A little background... I meet my ex fiancé a year ago... after only 3 months we got engaged and a short time after I found out I was pregnant. Two weeks ago the s**t hit the fan when I was a little nosey and did a little research with his social security number when applying for medicaid only to discover he's already married with 2 children one born this Feb while we were together. He never mentioned any children or wife. Needless to say we are no longer together and I'm getting ready to raise my little girl as a single parent.

But now that I am single and pregnant my hormones are raging and I'm dying for some attention especially the sexual kind. I have toys but they just are not doing the job.

Is it unexceptable for me to contact some ex's or meet someone new while I'm pregnant? I haven't tried yet because I'm not sure how to explain my issues with a man without sounding like a whore. Anyone have any suggestions? Of course if I do meet someone or contact an ex it will be protected sex. I just could not fathim letting my exfiance do anything sexual to me ever again right now so its not an option.

[QLP]

If you happen to meet someone new whilst you are pregnant and they are happy to start a relationship with you than all well and good.

But do you really want to start looking around for someone just for sex when your life is already pretty complicated? What happens when the baby is born? Do you have someone around who is just a sex buddy or kick them into touch?

Are you sure this is really about just sex or might it be about loss of love and affection, you have had a pretty horrible shock and are suddenly facing single parenthood alone. Are you feeling good about yourself? I'm worried that if this incident has knocked your self-esteem then settling for sex with someone for the sake of it could hit your confidence even harder in the long run.

Wouldn't you be better giving yourself some time to get over what happened and focusing on then new life you need to make for you and your child before getting entangled again?

Lack of sex can be frustrating but it doesn't kill us. It's not about whether it is acceptable or not, it's about whether it will actually make you happier.

[smoothy]

Make damn sure you file for child support from him. Particularly since he lied about already being married. Wonder how long he thought he could keep up that façade after getting "engaged" to you.

From a guys perspective... you will meet several conflicting issues they might have..

#1. They may see it as you looking for a "Dad" to support the kid you are having by another guy. Some guys will have an issue with that... and it will get in the way of what YOU are looking for in the short term.

#2. Some guys might find it highly erotic to get it on with a clearly pregnant woman (without the fear of "knocking you up" even with protection)... conversely there are guys that won't. I am one of those guys that find something sexy in a woman that's "with child". I am however married and not looking, just expressing a personal viewpoint.

How would I go about looking for a booty call? Just be yourself and keep your eyes open for a guy that expresses interest. Keep in mind that field might be somewhat reduced.

[CravenMorhead]

Given your Ex-Fiancée a booty call, at home, when he is at work? No, that is mean and vindictive. His wife will find you when you sue for child support.

I wouldn't be able to tell you where to go to find a booty call. I would almost suggest a wide variety of toys to try to satiate your needs.

In this day and age, men are suspicious about NSA sex. Especially with a pregnant woman. We are programmed, indoctrinated if you would, to expect some sort of commitment when we get intimate with a person. So it might hard because the commitment we're expecting you to expect might be more than we want to give even if your exceptions are significantly lower than what we are expecting you to expect.

Is that confusing enough?

Also. Condoms. Know them. Love them. Use them. Any STI will have a negative effect on your child. Introducing a new partner and having unprotected sex is playing Russian Roulette with your life and the life of your baby.

Also, once your child is born, talk to your doctor about birth control. Unless your faith or beliefs prohibit birth control, no child should be unplanned. I think that your current situation illustrates why.

I don't mean to be harsh or preachy. I wish you the best of luck with finding a man, and raising your child.

[JudyKayTee]

Should this thread be combined with this thread - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...ml#post2367687.

[Synnen]

Nope.

Two VERY different questions.

Unless you want to start talking about sex on the Legal boards? Because I CERTAINLY don't want to talk about law on the Adult Sexuality boards.

[JudyKayTee]

Sorry. Didn't mean to offend.

[Synnen]

None taken.

Just pointing out why they weren't merged.

Very busy this week and next, my answers are necessarily short.

[SkinyBisPreg]

Thank you all for your help.

QLP- this is about sex and the loss of affection. If it was only about sex I would find satisfaction in using my toys only and would not need a man to satisfy me. But I am not. Normally when I'm not pregnant the lack of sex does not affect me too negatively but now that I am, I'm finding myself to be sexually stressed, emotionally stressed and eager for a partner. I'm sure all these stresses can be felt by my baby as well. I don't need time to get over my ex, or situation... when you find out something like that your automatically over it and that person (atleast in my case). The only thing I do need time for is regaining the ability to trust a man again. There has been no lack of confidence in me. I feel just as beautiful and attractive as I did before I met this man, but I do feel like I was too trusting.

CravenMorhead- I hope you don't think I just plan on sleeping with any man who crosses my path. I do plan on having protected sex because it is very important for not only me and my child, but I also plan on us getting tested together. Which I doubt any man knowing what fragile state I'm in will have problems with doing so.

I'm not looking to start a new relationship with anyone. ( only sex and affection ) This is all I can handle right now. I guess I'm just wondering how to go about obtaining this since I've never needed this before. I'm also wondering if men even find pregnant women attractive.

So far the ex's I've contacted have not intiated anything beyond a polite one time conversation and absolutely no man has hit on me...

[erikerik]

Maybe if you give your toys names it would help foster a stronger relationship between you and the toys

[jenniepepsi]

About the only advice I can give is get yourself some sex toys. There is nothing wrong with sex with yourself. It can accually sometimes be more physically pleasing than with a partner. (though not as emotionally pleasing)

[Cat1864]

about the only advice i can give is get yourself some sex toys. there is nothing wrong with sex with yourself. it can accually sometimes be more physically pleasing than with a partner. (though not as emotionally pleasing)

Her toys aren't enough.

I hope in the past month she has found a safe way to relieve her tension.

[kp2171]

Thank you all for your help.

Danke for the danke. Too many don't say thanks for the time others spend trying to honestly help.

QLP- this is about sex and the loss of affection. If it was only about sex I would find satisfaction in using my toys only and would not need a man to satisfy me.

Not true. An orgasm doesn't need another person. Self help is fine. Sex is a different thing. In fact, its my belief that the Big O is secondary to the attention the lover gives... tho' I am so not knocking the power of a great orgasm from an attentive lover.

Guess my point is to elevate that connection to another person above the level of getting off.

Sex is more than reaching an emotional and physical climax.

I'm a guy. If a dude can admit this, well, it must be true.

So... my point is that this is a little about sex but a lot about affection and attention. After all, I can get myself off whenever I want. I'm the easiest lay I've ever known...

But that is just Nothing compared to a patient, attentive lovers touch, kiss and smell.

Its another world.

So... its really about sex. But about sex in the way that its meant to be. Not about toys. Not about intercourse. But about real, focused attention. The kind that a lover diverts to you, centers on you, gives to you.

It's a different thing.

As for the OP'd question... how to obtain real satisfaction without the barriers in front of her...

I'm sorry. There just is no perfect answer.

A pregnant woman is beautiful, sexual, and attractive. But you know that the situation is complicated for a number of reasons and that's just how it is.

I'm sorry you are aching like you are. There's just no easy "solution" to finding someone who will satiate your needs without their own demands.