[CarrotTalker]

It sounds like she is too unstable for her own good.

It doesn't necessarily sound to me like you are pushing her too much, but you might need to back off a little bit. There is such a thing as asking too many questions, but at the same time, don't switch to not asking anything.

To me, it's a big red flag that she is talking to another guy or guys when she is having a "hard time", instead of talking to her boyfriend about what's bothering her, but I'm not too sure what the best solution for dealing with that type of situation is.

Maybe cut your losses? I'm interested in hearing feedback from others.

[I wish]

You broke the rules by allowing yourself to be available to her to have a conversation. Even though you say that you were doing NC, at the back of your mind, you had false hope that she would one day come back to you and you would welcome her with open arms.

As you can see, now that the rules are broken, you reset much of the progress that you've made. Please see my NC related threads in my signature.

Getting back together without fixing the problems that broke you up in the first place is just yourselves up for another break up. Furthermore, now there are new problems apparently. The problems are piling up and there's no progress in repairing the relationship.

The longer you allow yourself to be available to her, the longer it will take for you to move on with your life. If you want to continue to drag out the healing process, then we won't stop you.

[talaniman]

I want to be a support, but we don't communicate about what's going on because she doesn't want to. So yes I'm not really too sure how to be acting. Other than the advice you just gave me, and give her space, but I didn't think I should be not doing anything and leaving her on her own. But from your responses that is what I have to do

When someone becomes unwilling to do something, then you back up, and do your thing, and let them decide when they are willing, if ever. She has already gone back on her word by NOT working on this glitch with you. That's a big red flag that she isn't willing, is unable, or was just blowing smoke up your arse, to get what she wants.

Keep your dignity, and self respect, because you shouldn't have to force any one to be with you, or do all the work a relationship requires, all by yourself.

This is not a healthy relationship, and never will be as long as neither of you is healthy. That's what the NC was about in the first place. A method for you to get clarity of thought without the emotional dust blinding you to the facts. Not as a way for her to chase you, and take you back. Exes always circle back to keep you around until they can do better, and another red flag you keep ignoring even now, her words don't match her actions.

Now you have to back off until they do. Or until your confusion ends. That doesn't mean NC for you any more to be frank. That means a safe distance until she is ready, willing, or able to honestly communicate so you can really resolve your issues, or you get tired of waiting, and want to end this farce of a relationship once, and for all.