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    gothicangel's Avatar
    gothicangel Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 3, 2009, 10:40 AM
    My mother hates me!
    Parents are supposed to praise their children every once in awhile.For good marks or good behavior or doing a good deed.That's never happened to me.I'm different than most kids,I love to clean and cook and do chores so I do all these and I make sure I do them really well,for I am perfectionist,but no matter how hard I try or how much I do it is never good enough for my mother.She calls me stupid and ugly and I know I am neither of these because I am a straight A student and all the guys tell me I am really pretty.But it hurts to know my mother thinks of me as not worthy enough to stand before her.What should I do?
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #2

    Jan 3, 2009, 10:53 AM

    Trust me you HEAR that parents are suppose to praise their kids but the majority of kids don't get praise. Especially by the time they are old enough to do chores. By then it is ''what is expected of you''. Ask your friends if they get praised by their parents. My mother never praised or thanked me for cleaning and I cleaned the whole house every Friday night from the time I was in the 9th grade to the 12th grade. She would make a big deal out of my Pepsi glass I did not clean. She never gave me any encouragement of any kind.
    Some times you just have to be strong within yourself and build your own self confidence. In the long run you can say you are 'self made' and that is satisfaction enough in hind sight.
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #3

    Jan 3, 2009, 10:54 AM

    Wow.. you sound like a really great kid! Sorry that your Mom does not appreciate you as she should.

    Its sad to say but I have seen it before where a Mom was actually jealous of her own daughter.I'm not saying that is the case here but it is a possibility.

    My friend was very pretty and helpful and everything she did her Mom put down and it all came down to jealousy.The Mom never really accomplished much in her life and her daughter did so there was this jealousy thing that kept them at odds.

    Perhaps you could discuss this with a school counselor and maybe you and Mom could see the school psychologist.

    What she is doing is verbal abuse and it should not be able to continue.

    Please talk to a counselor and get the help you deserve.

    Hang in there!!
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #4

    Jan 3, 2009, 06:31 PM

    Hi, gothicangel!

    Have you ever tried to sit down with your mother and have a heart-to-heart with her about this?

    If you haven't, or are afraid to do so, or maybe if you have and things erupt into some kind of emotional flare-up, if you let us know about what dialogue has taken place, then we can give you some positive and proactive strategies that might help you to cope.

    Thanks!
    chrissymarie's Avatar
    chrissymarie Posts: 563, Reputation: 53
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    #5

    Jan 6, 2009, 03:00 PM

    Just keep being the person you are and doing well in your eyes. She's just a hater. You'll have many of these in your life. It just sucks that its your mom. Just ignore ignore ignore and cherish the praise you do receive form others... friends, teachers, etc etc
    emily666's Avatar
    emily666 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Jun 6, 2010, 05:36 PM
    I am going to be 36 this month. I have a mother who has never said she loves me. I have always been there for her. Every time she calls Its because she needs something. She has never called to see how me and her three grandkids are doing. Im tired and un happy because I think she has messed up my life. I can write a book about the abuse I went through. But I don't know what to do. Help any ideas?
    positiveparent's Avatar
    positiveparent Posts: 1,136, Reputation: 291
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    #7

    Jun 16, 2010, 04:19 AM

    What the OP and the post above are describing the Narcissistic Mother, and I too had one.

    There is much info about this online, support groups and much more search for
    Narcissistic Mothers,

    Or children of the self absorbed.
    Toxic Parents. Any of these will find you masses of helpful advice and self help information too.

    Or just look for Narcissism
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