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    Apanda's Avatar
    Apanda Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 15, 2010, 06:31 AM
    My boyfriend won't have sex with me.
    We've been together for about 6 months now. And things are really awesome except in the bedroom. When we first started dating, it was sex all the time. Then it went from every day to once or twice a month quite abruptly. He says it's because he's stressed from work and tired all the time. I'll ask him in the afternoon and he'll be all about it but when it's time he just wants to go to bed. Then he'll say we can do it tomorrow but tomorrow comes and I don't. Since we've started dating, I've lost weight so I don't think it's because of weight issues (no offense to the fellers, but most of you are pretty shallow when it comes to looks whether you want to admit it or not.) I really love him and really am trying to be understanding, but I'm getting really frustrated at the same time. What do I do?
    CravenMorhead's Avatar
    CravenMorhead Posts: 4,532, Reputation: 1065
    Adult Sexuality Expert
     
    #2

    Jun 15, 2010, 07:20 AM

    How old are you both? I am pretty sure you're over 18 but rules are rules.

    Anyhow, I have a couple things:
    1). Instead of asking him in the afternoon. Do it in the afternoon. It might seem very clinical and not very sexy, but when you have the urge in the afternoon, drag him to the bedroom instead of trying to set things up.

    2). Stress and exhaustion are libido killers. His reasons are valid in that respect. When things are stressful and his body isn't getting the rest it needs than it will conserve resources and not expend it's resources on procreation. It is just the way the body is wired.

    3). Women can be just as shallow as men. Don't lay that all on us, it isn't fair.

    4). Last thing. When something becomes too stressful or exhausting it is usually a sign to change something. When a job/education/life style is causing this sort of damage to a person, than that person should change that.

    So what should you do? Get him in the afternoon. See what can be done to relieve his stress, be it a change of jobs or what. Remove the stress source.

    Good Luck!
    Apanda's Avatar
    Apanda Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Jun 15, 2010, 07:25 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by CravenMorhead View Post
    How old are you both? I am pretty sure you're over 18 but rules are rules.

    Anyhow, I have a couple things:
    1). Instead of asking him in the afternoon. Do it in the afternoon. It might seem very clinical and not very sexy, but when you have the urge in the afternoon, drag him to the bedroom instead of trying to set things up.

    2). Stress and exhaustion are libido killers. His reasons are valid in that respect. When things are stressful and his body isn't getting the rest it needs than it will conserve resources and not expend it's resources on procreation. It is just the way the body is wired.

    3). Women can be just as shallow as men. Don't lay that all on us, it isn't fair.

    4). Last thing. When something becomes too stressful or exhausting it is usually a sign to change something. When a job/education/life style is causing this sort of damage to a person, than that person should change that.

    So what should you do? Get him in the afternoon. See what can be done to relieve his stress, be it a change of jobs or what. Remove the stress source.

    Good Luck!
    We're both 23. And I disagree, women aren't as shallow as men, they tend to be more so! I'm going to try afternoon sex to see if that helps. Thanks!

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