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    MsGregory's Avatar
    MsGregory Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 8, 2010, 10:31 AM
    Help? Me , My Mom , & My Boyfriendd.
    Me and my boyfriend have been together for four years now , my mom just recently found out that we're together , but she has no clue how long we've been together . She doesn't like him much , because he's been a "Trouble-Maker" since he was younger . He's been in Juevenile Detention centers , He's gone to drug counciling ( for pot ) & He's been on house arrest . & She believes that because he used to get in trouble that I'll begin to get in trouble too , But that's not the case . Its been about four months since he last smoked & about a year since he was in any serious trouble . I'm changing him , for the better . & His family loves me & loves that we're together , but my family doesn't except him . What do I do?
    tene08's Avatar
    tene08 Posts: 27, Reputation: 2
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    #2

    Jun 8, 2010, 10:53 AM

    I think we are similar in some ways but if I'm in the position where my mom doesn't like my boyfriend, I'll try to convince her that he is changing and make her see the positive aspects of the relationship. Tell her all the things that he have changed and continue to work with him to get him better. And see what your family thinks after.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #3

    Jun 8, 2010, 10:58 AM
    Is this the same boyfriend?

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregna...nt-477645.html

    Don't you change for anybody... not him, not your parents... NOBODY!

    Apparently he is the one who needs to change.

    As a mother of 4 children... one teen daughter (16), I personally would not allow this relationship to continue. Apparently this boy has been in too much trouble already and that doesn't bode good for his future thus far.
    MsGregory's Avatar
    MsGregory Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jun 9, 2010, 07:44 AM

    Yes , It's the Same Boyfriendd . We've Been Through A Lot Together & My Mom Loves That I've Found Someone That I Love , She's Just Not So Happy With The Choice . She Knows That We Plan On Staying Together No Matter What Anyone Has To Say . & I Know He Doesn't Sound Like He Has Much Of A Future Now , But He's Changing A Lot . & Me & His Mom Are Extremley Happyy For Him . It Just Bothers Me That If His Familyy Can Except Us , Then Why Can't Mine ? & Of The Four Years We've Been Together I Haven't Changed Once . I've Alwayss Been The "Alwayss There For You" Kind of Girlfriend , I'm Always Supportive Of Him Fixxing Thingss & I Will Admitt That When He Started "Acting Up" We Were Distant For A While , But I Love Him & I Couldn't Stay Away For Longg .
    mudweiser's Avatar
    mudweiser Posts: 2,750, Reputation: 707
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    #5

    Jun 9, 2010, 07:50 AM

    Hey life isn't fair. Mom and Dad don't like him because HE IS trouble. It's only been 4 months, that like a day in parent time. It'll take at least a year or MORE of goodness to clean that slate. And if he is being good and he is good to you then there shouldn't be a problem with that.

    His family likes you because you're a non trouble kind of girl and have maybe even seen some sort of change with your boyfriend.

    Either way, you say your sticking to him so it shouldn't matter what others think. Just as long as he's treating you right and isn't getting into any trouble then things should soon clear up.

    It takes a long time to regain people's trust or respect. So be patient.


    P.S. You don't need to capitalize every word.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Jun 9, 2010, 07:59 AM

    Surely you can understand that the worst fears a parent has are, that their daughter hooks up with a loser, with no future other than jail, and has babies by him.

    I don't have any advice what you can do to change your parents minds about such a guy, but I do advise you to make sure until he has proven himself for a lot longer than he has, please don't get pregnant.
    Both Our Parents Are Expecting GrandChildren . I Was Thinking It Might Be Him , But A While Back I Had Sex With One Other Guy Unprotected & Again I Didn't Get Pregnant. & I've Never Even Missed A Period . So Is It Just Me?
    Whether you can or can't, that's for a doctor to say, but unless he does better than stay out of trouble, such as with his grades, and behavior and job prospects, I doubt they see him as anything but a loser. You can also explain why you both are irresponsible by having unprotected sex, and you even having sex with another guy, and worrying how you didn't get pregnant.

    Maybe your parents see you as being as irresponsible as this fellow is, and don't want you barefoot, and broke in a dinky trailer, and on welfare while he is in jail, for the rest of your life.

    I think if you showed them you can do better, and so can he, with positive actions, toward your own futures, they may change their minds, but if they see what I and others see, they will never be happy with your choices.

    You can't expect them to be happy with the choices you have made so far, and seeing what you are unable to see.

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