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MGMadara · Jun 7, 2010, 02:34 PM

Hi all,
My girlfriend and I have known each other for a few years but have only been dating for about 4 months. We both feel that we love each other and both made promises a while back to only have sex with people that's we truly love and care about; but we both have different reasons for this. I have made it perfectly clear that I am ready to take that step and am hopeful she is too. The other day we wouldve done it but unfortunately I didn't have condum with me and we didn't do it(she was the one who initiated it, I didn't expect it at all). I kind of hinted a bit that I would like to try again soon but she talks as if we may never be in that situation again and its very discouraging.

I don't talk much about it because I know she will let that happen again when she's ready, but she seems completely indifferent about whether we have sex at all sometimes. I would really like to know why she seems avoidant and indifferent of that subject most of the time.

Synnen · Jun 7, 2010, 02:38 PM

How old are you both?

jmjoseph · Jun 7, 2010, 02:43 PM

If it's meant to happen it will. But meanwhile, keep condoms handy.

This is on the "adult sexuality" board. I am assuming that you both are of legal age of consent. Sorry, had to mention it. It would be quite irresponsible for us to give sexual advice to a minor.

Are you virgins?

The main thing is that you are BOTH are ready for this to happen.

MGMadara · Jun 8, 2010, 06:47 AM

We are both 18 but still live with our parents.I do think she is ready but she rarely ever acts like it at all and its very confusing.

And no neither of us are virgins, we both made promises because we got into sexual situations that we never shouldve been in.

Cat1864 · Jun 8, 2010, 07:12 AM

There is a big step between being friends with someone and deciding you are in love with that person. It is a bigger step to go from being friends to being lovers. You have only been dating for four months, not much time when you really think about it.

You say that you both got involved in sexual situations that you shouldn't have in the past. She may be dealing with memories and emotions that she thought were buried. They may be things that she doesn't want to talk about or think about and is avoiding the entire subject.

Reset the relationship back to the fun 'playing around not expecting anything to happen' time. Leave the door open for discussing sex and concerns/issues about it. Give her and yourself time to adapt to the relationship and to open up to each other. Until you can talk about sexual matters openly, don't try to have sex.