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    aimee_tt's Avatar
    aimee_tt Posts: 340, Reputation: 143
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    #1

    May 9, 2010, 06:42 PM
    Friend want to lose virginity to a guy to make him like her
    My friend Emma wants to lose her Virginity to this guy who is in Melbourne. (We are in Sydney) She met him early this year, while she was in Melb but she saw him for a few hours got his number then the next day came back to Syd.

    They got to talking and she started really liking him.

    She hasn't been lucky with guys, she is tall has a awkward shapped body and doesn't wear clothes that go with her body. But when you get to know her she is so sweet and caring and would do anything for a friend.

    So they really start to heat things up sending photos to each other then one day he finds out she's a virgin and he says to her 'I can't be with you its not fair on you. We live too far away and for me to be your first BF you would only get hurt'.

    So he stop's talking to her. She get this idea in her head that she is going to go to melbourne to make him like her. Ive told her to let it go. There are better guys out there that will stick around no matter what. But she says I need closure.

    I came on here a few weeks ago and started to red all about NC. I tried to tell her that seeing him is only going to set her back. I also gave her this web address and told her that you guys give some great advice.

    So now she is going to Melb next week and has told him she is going to meet up with him. The she told him she wanted him to take her virginity. Of course him being male had no objection to that at all. His reply was Sure but its just sex nothing else will come of it and she agrees.

    Ive tried to tell her not to do it. I told her it won't make him like you. You are just another Virgin on his list. She says she knows but she has been waiting for so long for this to happen that she would rather do it with someone she knows.

    I know she is going to get hurt by this. I know she can't just have sex with him and walk away like it didn't mean anything. She still has feelings for him and its like she thinks throwing her self at him will make him want her.

    She is 21. Never had a BF and everyone alround her does. She hangs around mainly with 2 gay guys. Which means she goes to gay clubs and things like that. She isn't really around straight guys that often.

    Do I sit here and watch her make this mistake or what do I do? I don't want to see her hurt.

    Also She has a very large moe growing on her face. It is getting darker and longer. I don't know if anyone else has said anything but it really is bad. You can see it in photos and you can see it from a distance. I don't know if I should tell her but I know others make fun of her behind her back.

    Do say anything or do I ignore it?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    May 9, 2010, 06:51 PM

    I am sure she sees a mole on her face, and it will be up to her to get it removed by a doctor.

    If she is really 21 ( not 14) while she is making a stupid mistake it is hers to make, you can tell her that he will still merely move on after sex, and sex will not make him want her ( except for sex now and then perhaps)
    aimee_tt's Avatar
    aimee_tt Posts: 340, Reputation: 143
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    #3

    May 9, 2010, 07:01 PM

    No not a mole... a moe. As in she has a Hair above her top lip. Brown hair. That could be waxed off.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
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    #4

    May 9, 2010, 07:55 PM
    You are a good friend to point out why her decision is a poor one. It sounds like no matter how much common sense you discuss, she is bent on having sex.

    You have offered her all the practical advice anyone would offer, I can't see that you can do anything else. You may wish to be prepared for the fallout, as she will surely be disappointed, and if part of her plan was to secure this guy as a boyfriend, that will likely not happen and she will need you to get through it all.

    Some people have to learn the hard way.

    As to the 'moe' as you call it, I would go and buy her a tube or bottle of hair remover, and offer to do the first application for her (so you know she does it right), and IF she lets you. Although the 'moe' is quite apparent to everyone, it may not be to her, or she just may think that it's not that bad. You are doing her a favour by offering to help her get rid of it.

    I remember a girl in high school, who's mother refused to let her shave, wax, or remove her hair in any way shape or form. We were on a swim team together, and she was mortified when people laughed at her.

    Good luck with your friend. You might want to check that she has some condoms with her too.

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