[annual]

So it's been awhile since I posted here. I recently just broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years who I loved with all my heart. We lived together for the past 2 years and have known each other for almost 7 years. She was living with me and had moved her stuff in (clothes, bathroom stuff, etc). Her reason for the breakup besides my flaws which I'll get to later, was she needed time to mature herself and she didn't feel she felt like where she was living was "home". All the furniture was mine, and the place was in my name but she had mail being delivered here. She also said she didn't want to wake up 5 years from now and be bitter about the relationship.

The flaws that I had, was that I didn't change my ways like she asked. But in all fairness, I did start changing at the end when I realized how serious it was getting (she was leaving). Since the breakup I have changed everything, from my habits of playing video games to smoking. I am now starting to work out and when I told her all of this she loved it and says that's excellent.

So she moved out and it was really hard on me and still is. We are still texting and talking, and actually yesterday we hung out which was excellent it was like we were still together. We kissed, made out, held hands, put my hand down her pants, up her shirt etc. No sex though, she said it'd be like having the benefits of a relationship with no relationship. So yesterday we started talking about exclusitivity and marriage and future. She told me she doesn't want to date anyone else, and when she is ready the only person she'll date is me. She tells me she can see herself with me in the future and getting married and having kids. I made her all these promises such as we'll get a house together, and I'll work as many as hours as I need to support our family.

My question is, does this ever happen and could it happen? Should I just wait for her to be ready whenever she is? I would wait the rest of my life if I had to for her, I just don't want to get hurt and she find someone else, after we know we'd be perfect for each other marrying and having kids. She doesn't have a time on when she will be ready to get back together or "mature by herself". I really want things to work out, but I might be pushing for them a little too much when she says she wants to figure out her life right now. Even though she's going to a party tomorrow night and I'm nervous she will hook up with some guy. She also is getting her first tattoo today of a design that I bought for her, she said, it'll always allow her to remember me and a part of me.

BTW I'm 21 and she is 20.
I really appreciate anyone willing to type a reply to me for help.
-Ryan

[talaniman]

All that romantic touchy feely stuff keeps you fired up, and stirred up, and wishful, and hopeful. The fact that she broke up and moved out is the only fact to consider, given the changes you tried to make were ignored.

If she was serious as she said about the future you would be still together working things out and growing together through the process.

I highly suggest you stop chasing, and become less available, until you can judge the difference between facts, and hopeful fantasy. Then you won't be confusing your physical attraction, and past attachments, with what she is saying and what she does.

Her actions clearly say, she is comfortable with you and wants your company on her terms, not yours, because she has no reason to let go completely at this time.

So you sit in limbo, fighting your worst fears and concerns alone. That's neither good, nor healthy, and she will never miss you if your always there, available and ready when SHE needs you.

Disappear from her life and rebuild your own, because that's exactly what she is doing, and pursuing her options, other than you. After all, your broken up already, she just will spend less time until she has no more time for you. So do your own thing, and not hers.

[Devorameira]

SHe asked for a break, so your best bet is to take the initiative to make it a permanent breakup. It's a pretty safe bet that she doesn't value the relationship as much as you do.

I don't believe there are any breaks in love. A relationship is not a job where you take a break from time to time. When you are with the right person they don't want breaks at all. They'll be willing to sit down with you and work through the problems.

Move on and save yourself any additional pain and heartache.