[daydreamin]

Hey guys

My ex-girlfriend of 1 year and 10 months broke up with me yesterday and its been really hard to cope with. I am 19 and she is 16 we started dating when I was 17 and she was 15, when I first seen her I instantly feel in love, it was a feeling I can't explain and only people who have gone through it know what I am talking about. At the time I didn't really know what love was as I was never in a relationship until me and her got together, but she was in a relationship. After she broke up with her ex we started talking over Facebook. While we we're talking she ended up going back to her ex, this hurt deeply but in the end after not talking to her for abit she ended up leaving her ex for me. Through out the relationship I was always jealous about the ex, and at first I constantly brought him up in stupid ways, yes I was a fool but I matured and eventually let that go. I admit I have complained about dumb things and it impacted us later on.

Fast forward to now I see that we have had a lot of dumb fights over dumb things, yes we have had moments where we don't fight at all but we had times where the fights took control of the relationship. Last month we started talking about a "break" and how it could help, she said she was "confused" and didn't know who she was so she wanted to split up, we we're going to go on a break but later on decided to stay together. We were good for awhile until a fight happened again and we decided to have a break again, we took a 4 day break and decided we still wanted to be together. After a few weeks of not fighting it was evedent things where not the same anymore, it felt like the spark was gone, and that she didn't care anymore... she started saying that she wanted me to be "harder to get" and that I was always on her, and she started becoming more distant. Well so we talked about splitting up for a bit and would always try to work things out.

She said that she was happy when we didn't fight but didn't want to put any effort when we fought because it felt like things wouldn't change. So on Saturday she said give her space to think on Sunday she broke up with me, saying that she has so much respect for me, that she doesn't regret anything. She says she wants to be single for now and wants to do her own things and wants me move on too. I asked her if she would date other guys and she says she's not sure. She said she still loves me but wants me to move on.

The thing that sucks is we have the same group of friends and usually sit together at lunch and we have 4th period together, where we sit together I want to do "no contact" but it will be kind of hard any suggestions?

[talaniman]

That's what you get for expecting a high school teen ager to be in an adult relationship. It was fun while it lasted but their feelings change often.

Time to leave her alone, and leave the high school mentality behind.

Someone your age would be better suited for a MAN! Make some new friends, preferably not underclassmen.

[emopunk7]

Well the two of you gave it a good try. Breaks are not healthy, nonetheless. It seems like you wanted her more than she wanted you. That's not good. The same was happening to me, along with other problems.

The fact is that it's over and no matter what you do, as you've already experienced, it will not work. I'm not saying this was your fault but since you have experience now, you can have an even better experience with someone else if you work on your jealousy.
Sometimes things just don't work. At least you are young and you have more than 50 years to experience the billion other wonderful woman who are also dying to break your heart... lol Just kidding. But you get my drift.

[daydreamin]

Thanks a lot of the help guys. I promise I will keep you guys updated on anything that happens, as of now I am working on getting passed the guilt, I feel like she is the one I want to be with but at the time feel like she was immature and I deserve better I am starting to feel better but this is still hard. Thanks guys

[daydreamin]

Well just wanted to give you guys some feedback. It will be a week tomorrow that she left me, the day after she left me(monday) I started coming down with the flu but I still ended up going to school. I seen her at school and called her over and made the mistake of begging and crying... yah that was bad, all she did was get a little teary eyed and said she was sure this is what she wanted. I agreed to be friends with her since I didn't want to cut her out of my life like that so we sat together at lunch, it was akward but I didn't really talk, she talked to everyone else at the table and acted as if nothing was wrong, happy and looked like she moved on with ease. We had 4th period together so right when the bell rang I left, she came up to class and I again begged, told her "it's been 2 years how could you do this? do you love me?" etc etc.

She got upset so I left class(I was feeling sick too so I just left). I stayed home 2 days, bed ridden with the flu/broken heart. I went back to school for Thursday and Friday but didn't go to ANY of my classes I just mopped around the school with friends trying to get over her, yes its stupid but yah. On Thursday 2 of our mutual friends spent lunch with me in the library then she asked one of the friends "where did you guys go, and was he with you?" I'm wondering what she wanted with this.

One Friday one of my girl friends was called over by her and she said "have you talked to him? hes making me seem like the bad guy, i just didn't want to lead him on" this kind of hurt but w/e. I just found out that later on at night she went out to the movies with a group of friends (guys and girls) till very late, this upset me because while she was with me she was never really allowed to stay out long.

This week has been hard but it has gotten better, I have met new friends and started talking to old ones. At times she is completely out of my mind but at other times I get setbacks where I am sad and thinking about her...